Happiness is...

progress

2011-06-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

Hebrews 12:1

God is always at work. Those who have a relationship with him, who seek nothing else but his presence, will always move forward. He will not abandon his cause in us. There is one remedy for all emptiness or stagnancy: go to God. In one way or another he will tell you to run the race...and he'll equip you for it.

I used to think I was hopelessly stuck in my current sins. I wouldn't have admitted it, of course. I would tell myself over and over that Jesus had it covered, the author and perfecter of our faith...but my feelings of imprisonment remained. Now I realize how dimwitted I was. He's opened my eyes. I look back on my life now and see his work, his equipping. I see my progress.

I believe a person's actions are the manifestation of who they are inside, their heart, their soul, the nature they have either always had, or that was transformed once and for all by God's free gift atonement. This they will have through eternity. But even that doesn't rule out progress. I'll tell you why.

The girl who studies to learn her schoolwork and eventually gets an A on the test can be compared to her sister who complains and puts off homework and fails. They progressed at different levels in their learning, but their hearts remained constant throughout: one a diligent student, the other a lazy student. The same principle is true in the Christian life. God shows us our new nature by showing us our new life, our new reactions to things, and our varying degrees of developed maturity, wisdom, love, assurance, faith. None of us is truly stuck in the sins we deal with if we have a new nature. Our circumstances or physical or mental health my change or stay the same, but our hearts are hardwired to pull toward God, and he will show us the impact it has on our lives and others'.

We can't conclude about others' hearts because we don't know the innumerable factors that weigh into their actions, and even our own hearts trick us. But God holds the truth. He will confirm the hearts of his children. "The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God." (Romans 8:16)

God would have us run the race, and he is author of our faith, so he has it covered. He will not abandon his plan. I've known that for a long time. What I didn't quite get was that it's TRUE. Obey God. Run the race. Seek him. Love him with all your heart, soul, and mind. Hunger after righteousness! And he will turn your eyes to the path behind you and show you the changes, the growth, the difference in your life. And even if that change is invisible to everyone else in the world, he will encourage you with it. For everything you see back there that causes you anguish, bring it to God, and start the process again. He will always be working in you.

My heart overflows with joy at what he's done to my life...completely transformed....

"In all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."

"For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers."

Romans 8:37b & 29

craigslist

2011-05-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

The best marketplace ever. Not a single image on the entire homepage. No rules. No fees. Just warnings to use common sense and caution. I love secure websites too, don't get me wrong. But for local "I need to get rid of this now" type of items, craigslist is the way to go.

Ten minutes after listing our old furniture I started getting calls of people who'd like to bring their own vehicles and haul it away for me, leaving their cash with us. No checks to cash, no passwords, no shipping supplies and post office lines, no driving at all! Free removal and keep all the profit. Of course if we lived in the middle of town we could just set things out with a price tag on them and receive the same effect. But out in the country it's a little harder (especially since there is no surveillance at the end of a 1/4 mile twisty drive way).

"Oh, yeah, it's still here. But you better hurry. Someone else is coming to see everything this afternoon as well. The sooner the better! And how will you be paying?"

I could get used to this. =)

a winter pool party

2011-04-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

I am happy to look out the window and not see snow. Believe it or not, only a week and a half ago there was 2 inches of it covering the ground. But the relentless season continues to cling to us here in Eau Claire. Most of the week has been cold and gray with icy drizzle. Thanks to God's consistency, I can have confident hope that it won't be long before hot sun and popsicles are the norm.

And looking back at some of the pictures I've taken these last couple months has reminded me just how much God did to lift my spirits through the cold season. One of these boosts was a birthday party with Eddy's cousin Elie, filling two whole days with warm swimming, treats, games and laughter with relatives and old friends. It was a great reunion and a great way to make it through winter smiling.

Elijah, son of a long lost friend of mine, and new best bud for Eddy!

Eddy and his blue steed

I agree, Lindsey, a water park party is the perfect time for a book.

Eva Parramoure having a blast with everyone

children in their cool multi-colored glasses

Elie opening her presents

Group present euphoria

Eva on the big kid slide

Eddy braving the big kid slide with me

a hug hello, a kiss goodbye

2011-04-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

I have a love, a dear one far away. An invisible bond ties my heart to his, somehow. Somehow we are part of each other, though doing very different things, though in very different places. I am incomplete apart from him. Yet I have him even when he's gone. He's with me, in my heart. I guess I left part of me with him, and kept part of him with me. That way we are one together, and together apart, and incomplete without each other.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but only if that heart has once known presence. I think of the presence of my beloved, and long for it. Everyday greetings are made special. Goodbyes are much more meaningful. A last look in those noble eyes, both confident and vulnerable, knowing and asking, happy and sad, then he goes. His expression remains. His beautiful face stays steady before my eyes, though behind my eyes, in the swirling mists of my heart. My hands tingle for the feel of the solid him. My eyes look through his reflection, waiting for the true him to cut through his surroundings, to be here.

My eyes are heavy with waiting. My arms strain for the stress to release at that first hug. I will fold into him, warm and happy, one with myself and my love. Then the dance of reunion will begin, with talk and laughs and play and hugs. Everything will be known, everything made known. Until our next departure, we will be as normal again. And then the time will loom, will draw closer, and dare to come. I will hurry to that last kiss, a sign of loyalty, of love, of attraction, of enduring patience until he comes again.

the natural sandbox

2011-04-12T11:43:00.000-07:00

An elderly woman recently exclaimed at the number of "cute things" children have to play with these days. She and her siblings used to spend hours playing with her mother's buttons or a basket of clothespins. She said it in a positive light, admiring the creativity of the designs that so fascinate babies and toddlers. But I say, what's wrong with buttons and clothespins? It is difficult to examine the level of brain stimulation a child can get from a plastic toy versus a wooden clip. Perhaps they learn their numbers faster by pushing flashing buttons that sing them. But I'm sure their imagination suffers.

This is one of the things I like about the country. There are so many free and natural playthings for kids...well, one kid anyway. A field just past our manicured lawn has been unused for several years. It was once part of a huge garden, but now is all long grass matted down, tractor marks, and mole hills. As the snow left, many small dirt hills appeared on top of the field grass -- soft dirt hills -- warm dirt hills -- inviting dirt hills.

Before I had considered the idea, Eddy had discovered the wonders of our natural sand box. It's even better than a sandbox, too, with nice, soft dirt instead of course sand, and cushiony old grass around it, woven together like a perfect nature rug. And it's directly out the kitchen window.

"Hi, Eddy."

"Hey, Mom. I'm digging my cousins."

"Your cousins are in there?"

"Yeah, see, here is a daaangerous tunnel, and my cousins are stuck in it, way under ground. A bad guy put them in there, and I have to rescue them," he said as he rapidly pulled dirt from the mound, flinging it everywhere.

Sidewalk chalk, buttons, swing sets, woods, clothes pins and dirt mounds. Oh, the wonders of simple childhood pleasures.

old fashioned work

2011-04-11T18:30:00.000-07:00

All the books, talks, mentors, schedules, vacations, and plans will not make up for work. That old unglamorous notion somehow never loses power. It's how God made us, I guess.

My life has been a ruckus lately. Decisions and situations can't stop throwing me curve balls, and I'm not a good aim. It's been easy to excuse getting behind every day. And people are so understanding. Truth is, though, I haven't given good ol' work enough credit.

Well, nature has been too generous to ignore, so even after an errand that stretched three hours too long, I had to get Eddy and me outside. There was much to be done, and no more snowy excuses! It was work. Try keeping a 3.5-year-old boy on task with a good attitude, and you'll know it was work. But somehow I knew it would turn out right.

Of course, sun, fresh air, and natural beauty played their parts well. But theirs were not the only parts. Somewhere in that buckle-down consistency rose a steadiness, which emerged into pleasantness. That soon became happy determination, and out of nowhere popped grand satisfaction in a job done -- and done well.

Freedom and fun gained their color! Excitement got new batteries! And our little team was nicer to each other, having helped each other finish, being on the same side again. Never has something that looked so stern when approaching, turned out so kind and helpful. Then again, maybe that has happened before...when I met God.

He made us well. No matter what mess we've made of this world, turn back to how you were intended, and you'll still see glimpses of how things were...in the beginning.

RAIN

2011-04-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

A scene within the scene of the sun; a traveling therapist sets up a canopy to shade his customers. Going from place to place, he offers rest and growth. He helps you see yourself and change.

Go meet him if you're ready. When seeking help you must prepare for change. Nervous but expectant, you go. Out into, you enter. Shock hits you, but you brace and accept it. The therapist works, an army of gentle soldiers come falling from the heavens, driving out stress with a hum.

Face the treatment, look upward. They fall on your face, wake you to feel. A million little soldiers tap your skin. You are real. You can feel. You are able for something right now.

When his schedule is in order, he is timely, but does not over stay his welcome. Each town he visits bids him come again before too long. The ground thanks him for his transformation. His reputation precedes him, always powerful, always somber. Without talk he works. The world and his patients brace to bear the discomfort of treatment. All is new by the time he is gone.

sunshine

2011-04-09T16:29:00.000-07:00

Spring. Spring, spring, spring!

I love the sun. The sun follows the pattern. The sun is consistent. Those fickle clouds can hide it when they want, but they can't keep it from angling higher northward in the sky and rising earlier each spring day to vanquish the cold of morning and winter.

Literal tons of snow covered the ground, and lay in mountains not long ago. I often pondered what it would take to remove one of those piles. A bulldozer? A jack hammer? A crane? And what damage would the grass and earth suffer? What repair would it need? Ah, but the sun! Leave it to the sun and watch your mountain turn hill turn mound turn bump turn popsicle turn frisbee field, all in a matter of days. The sun is timely. The sun vanquishes. The sun stays. The sun penetrates. The sun transforms. It even gardens.

Dawn in spring, my alarm clock from apathy and sleep. My dreamlike visitor calls my name aloud in the silence of my mind, and beckons me out, out, into the newborn day, come and talk, come weep, come sing, come awaken to new life once again. In my dreamy haze, I do not see myself donning jeans and tennis shoes. The woman rushing out has no stained work coat, messy hair or baggy eyes, no. The voice of the sun creates another picture, of fairy land and princesses. Long, flowing golden locks swish back on the glowing white night gown and silk-lined cape, as the mysterious someone calls her out to the shadowy mist, for love and everything noble, gentle, and grand.

That soft, piercing pink-orange glow, it somehow forgets all dirt and warts and spring mess. Instead, the heart, the life, the beauty and curves and lines and contrasts and shadows explode! Enchantment is reality, and passion beyond measure is everywhere. The heart of a thing is exposed, and it glows so bright its casing vanishes as the glass of a bulb. Instantly all people are connected, unhidden, related, helped and hurt, indifferent or zealous, but all flowing together one a river of time. As the voice of the sun shines in my mind, it does in others, my distant neighbors across the fields, the acquaintances in nearby towns, lost friends a world away. They seem near, they seem alive and people once again. Their hearts beat and their days flow as mine, they are one small prayer, one thought, one tear away.

On canvas the sun is hard to recreate. I think of orange and yellow and the sharp painful light, to which you shield your eyes. My paints are insufficient. A bit of yellow mixed with white, the color of lilies, a pale easter yellow, eggshell, then white. Where is the glow? Where is the sharpness? How large must the white be to seem brighter in the center? It occurs to me that the effect of one's lashes as they shield their eyes plays a part in how brightness appears, but also -- and what I discovered in time to paint it -- was contrast. The sun's distinguishing characteristic is it's far superior brightness than anything around it. It's light is the source of all color and shape on the earth. So the edges of my canvas took on reds and oranges and dark yellows, fading and brightening and reaching straight and unwavering toward one point. That point, that whiteness had the palest yellow poking into it, reaching, but being extinguished next to the outstretching ball of whiteness. The effect turned out pretty good, but still nothing compared to the true sun, the cradle and blankets in which God placed this small earth.

laughter, friends, community, ministry, family, a husband, a son. people.

2011-03-04T06:55:00.000-08:00

This spring (well, I like to pretend it's spring here...or maybe I think I'm still in school and it's "spring" semester...), Eddy and I have not been commuting back and forth from Minnesota, as we had the previous three years. This has both pros and cons. One sad thing is that Daniel is still commuting (only 3 days a week, thank goodness!). I really miss him. And I'm still trying to iron out the upheaval his coming and going does to Eddy's and my household life. However, there are plenty of pros, as well.

On top of only one pantry and fridge to stock, only one meal schedule to plan, and only one house to organize and clean, there are also the people! I am trying hard not to outdo my time, and I may be on the busy side, but it is oh, so rich right now.

My friendships with high schoolers at our church have not only continued, but become deeper and more meaningful. What an important time of life, and -- I'm not ashamed to say -- an amazing group of girls! I don't know about you, but I certainly didn't finish a full-length fantasy novel by age 15, act in plays and musicals professionally, create hundreds of paintings well enough to be sold, or make extensive plans for my life in my first couple years of high school!

We have also joined a couples small group, and the women's Bible study to which I belong always continues to be spiritual, deep, and convicting. The diverse group of high school leaders I've met are both interesting and so inspirational, and the babysitters that have popped up are turning into out-of-nowhere family friends. I'm learning through these people. I'm serving these people. I get to love them, and be accepted. I don't know what the future holds for our little family, but right at this moment I can say that I have a whole bunch of flesh-and-blood friends. I feel "in" for the first time in a long time.

When I have my priorities straight with family, and find my source of happiness in God, people suddenly become a lot brighter and more enjoyable. Thank you, God.

Valentine's!

2011-02-15T08:57:00.000-08:00

I gotta admit, I put alot of work into this Valentine's Day. Weeks ahead of time I planned all the dishes for a special Polish dinner for us (No, we're not Polish, but last time we had Polish it was great!). I researched all the recipes, went on a special shopping trip for good ingredients. Then yesterday I cooked nonstop from 10:30am to 7pm, but I did it! Dan, Eddy and I feasted over candlelight on Pierogies, Golumpkies, boiled potatoes with Dill, and the best Polish pound cake you've never seen! =)

By the end of the day, the end of the meal, the end of dessert, I was beginning to wonder whether Danny had anything in store for me at all. Right when my anxiety began to rise noticeably, Danny disappeared upstairs and came back with a very large flat package wrapped in brown paper. "Don't wreck the front," he said. It was A foot-and-a-half wide and 3 FEET tall. I carefully removed the paper to reveal a particle board artist's painting of a caricatured blues trumpet player! (pictures to come)

He said when he visited New Orleans on his way home from buying our car, he ran across a whole bunch of artists in progress on very New Orleans style pieces. This artist sold his paintings for less because he put them on less expensive materials, such as particle board. But they were just as good or better than half the other paintings for sale! Wow! With this, and my uncle's blues painting, I have the makings of the perfect music room! My husband sure knows what I like! A perfect surprise for a perfect Valentine's.

I hope your Valentine's was just as special. Tell me about it!

centered

2011-02-14T09:59:00.000-08:00

, I recently got home from a road trip of reunions with the long lost, the distant, the loved, the missed, the in-law, and the long-distant. It was a whirlwind of emotion and brief happinesses followed by contemplation and memories. But I came home hungry again for my regular relationships. I dove right in.

In one day I went from busy church congregation to my mentor to those I wish to serve, to long-time family friends. Every relationship different in scope, in expectation, and in dynamics. Without realizing it, I had thrown myself back into the whirlwind. Home late, exhausted and anxious, I tried to sort everything out. Who had I offended? What had I learned? How can I improve? What do I need? What do they need? A good sleep and quietness healed what I thought to be impossible questions. Amazing what a little introspection will do!

In the morning light, over a bowl of cereal, my mouth closed and my arms at my sides, I re-centered. I remembered God. I realized my primary relationship -- with or without all the others. He told me of my acceptance with Him, no matter what happens with others. He called me to love him so I can then love others again.

Centered on God, embarrassments and unknowns are inconsequential. Only love God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.

Pollyanna, by Eleanor H. Porter

2011-01-24T09:04:00.000-08:00

My mom was so great to lend some of her best classic movies to us to watch during Christmas, even though she wouldn't get to be here to watch them. One of them was Disney's Pollyanna. It was a big hit with everyone, who asked me several questions about it. That's when I realized how little I knew about this favorite story of mine. I dove into Google and found out it was a novel by Eleanor H. Porter in 1913, an instant success, followed by a sequel, a blockbuster silent film in 1920, and many other films and mock sequels thereafter.

I downloaded the Google book, and for the next several days, my computer became my bedtime book. I devoured every nuance, dialog and plot twist, in a much more complete and consistent story than the one with which I grew up.

Like the Disney movie, Pollyanna is a smiling, happy-go-lucky girl with two fat blonde braids and ill-fitting clothes. After her father dies, she goes to live with her wealthy aunt whom she's never met, because her late mother was cut off from the family for marrying a poor pastor. Despite her aunt's cold elitism and bad treatment of her niece, Pollyanna finds something to be happy about everywhere she goes and in everything she does, with her "Glad game." She unwittingly, pure heartedly brightens up the entire run-down town in which she now lives.

Unlike the movie, the original Pollyanna is a very consistent character. She doesn't have the tempter streak shown by Hayley Mills, but innocently and sincerely wants to make others happy. It is her innocence and oblivion, in fact, that are so attractive to others. She is a three-dimensional character, and does go through emotional difficulties, but she responds to those by crying and being by herself, or looking to others for consolation, not by throwing a tantrum. Also unlike the film, Aunt Polly does not own the town. It is not named after the family, and Miss Polly is just a very wealthy person who keeps to herself.

The book also weaves several mini stories into a beautiful collection of conclusions tied together. The ending is somewhat unexpected, except for the intentional little clues placed strategically throughout the story. And even the guessability of the ending is enjoyable in the anticipation. It's a wonderfully crafted "old style" book, where all the strings are tied off at the end, and everything is in balance. And I believe the lesson taught in it is as powerful as even the radical movie "Pay it Forward", though in much more wholesome surroundings. Finding the true and present good in everything you go through, and being honestly thankful for it is, indeed, a godly way to live, and can, in fact, change the world.

-------

After finishing the first glad book, I, like so many people in the early 1900's, was hungry for more of the "glad girl". I found the sequel on Google books as well, and continued. "Pollyanna Grows Up" continues the basic message of the first book, but necessarily had to tackle some hurdles of Pollyanna getting older and not being as innocent and wide eyed as she was when she was 11. Porter did this well, skipping over several years of her adolescence and jumping back into her early adulthood, with many more twists and turns and love stories that come to a dramatic and heartwarming end. I was very satisfied, and would recommend these books to anyone who enjoys good, old-fashioned but interesting story telling.

This was the second in my investigative reads of my favorite stories. The first was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang by Ian Fleming, last summer. Next, I think I'll dive into either Mary Poppins or Bed knobs and Broomsticks, and see what those are really about!

caring for orphans

2011-01-16T20:02:00.000-08:00

In the wake of our business sale, Dan and I have started to discuss our new direction in life. We have been talking about where to go to school, when, how much school I should do, when, and when to have more kids. I would really like to get pregnant soon, but we also discussed adoption -- a passion of both of ours. We discussed which to do first, and many details and issues involved. It was a very deep conversation, one which we hadn't touched on for years.

Funny, on our way to church today Daniel pummeled me with a plan I didn't know about. He was staying after church for a media workers' lunch, to train in the new guys. Hmm. What would Eddy and I do? We had no time to plan a visit to Connie's house, and didn't see her, but during announcements noticed that right after church there would be a lunch for those interested in orphan care -- childcare included. Is that great timing or what?

Many more people came than the two couples hosting it were expecting. Extra pizzas were brought in and the fireside room was packed. It was so encouraging to see so many other people also passionate about God's call to us (James 1:27, "Pure religion and undefiled is this, to visit the widows and orphans in their affliction, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."). We got loads of valuable information, not only about orphans, but child work or sex slaves (there are 127 million of those), as well. There were two videos, and for the first (below), not an eye was dry in the room. For the second -- an inspiring film about the International Justice Mission (see ijm.org), it made everyone emotional and angry! But here is the TRUTH about orphans... orphans my family is committed to help. How about yours?

"Defend the poor and the fatherless..." Psalm 82:3

"In as much as you have done unto the least of these, you have done it unto Me." Matthew 25:45

a new life

2011-01-15T08:29:00.000-08:00

We did it! We're free! The latter half of this week has felt like chains were falling off and our minds were gradually releasing all that stress we kept up there to prepare for another season of drudgery. But this year is different. On with life, on with future, on with family. The next several months will be a lot of business transitioning, but since Dan, has he put it, will be "partially unemployed," I think our family will have a good chance to breathe and regroup. Then comes fall semester! No telling where we'll end up, but we're working on that one, too.

After years of waiting and working, we couldn't be happier. Kinda feels like a different kind of graduation. We fulfilled our responsibilities, we learned a ton, and now we have the opportunity to take our lessons in the direction we've been longing for, take them to the next level, and dive into more directed studies.

Whatever we do will be a grand adventure at this point!

waiting...

2011-01-11T08:48:00.000-08:00

Dan left yesterday for some very important meetings in the twin cities. There has been a lot of exciting activity the last month and a half -- even without the holidays. We've allowed ourselves to dream now, to make plans, to get our hopes up. He has even started renting a room near Minneapolis to commute to & from Eau Claire and his family. It's month-to-month, so it can be short-term. If all goes as we hope, it will be. Dan's meetings should be over Thursday -- our anniversary. So, here I wait.

The last couple weeks I've been engrossed in one Harry Potter book, but at Dan's departure I felt the urgency to take a break. These few days require a lot more prayer and reflection than I'd devoted time to before.

Life changing decisions are being made over there. A world of opportunity, or not. I tingle with excitement, while even now bracing for defeat.

It's a special time, this waiting...a sacred time. The lingering dissident chord before resolution. I'll think I'll go pray some more...

Ensouciance

2011-01-10T16:33:00.000-08:00

This Christmas I ran across a several-year-old word list I had compiled from international magazines, college, and random happenchance. I realized -- and agonized -- that I never learned those words for which I had been so thirsty when first I saw them. My vocabulary is still horridly small, so near New Year's I resolved (in spite of my misgivings of the tradition of January 1st resolutions) to put these to celebration and use. With newly-received 2011 wall calendar in hand, I was inspired to jot down each word onto a day in the calendar, in order to look it up, and use it at least once in a real conversation that day. The words strung through July on the calendar, and I was super excited!

With family still present, this project began very exciting. We sat down to dinner directly after I'd finished my transcribing, and as soon as the opportunity arose, I proceeded to mention how pleased I was that Eddy was comporting tonight! It was received with quiet confusion. In my usual way, I gushed forth with a rapid and exuberant explanation of my plan. They were fine with it (not nearly as excited as I, but I was used to that). And after a few days of histrionic, taciturn, and alacrity (all behavioral words, to my immense satisfaction), I was taken aback by Forrest's aptitude for word usage! The man who hesitates to read to someone on account of clumsiness was thinking it the most obvious thing in the world that minutiae were small, unimportant details and correcting me on the pronunciation of echelons.

Perhaps these are all elementary level to you as well, but for an, apparently novice learner of words like me, it was a bit disconcerting and...just a tad humbling? But it was all fascinating information, just the same.

One evening we visited our friends, Jonny and Taylor, for dinner while Eddy and Gramma were at a cousin sleepover. For the next fleeting FIVE hours, we soaked in the contagious insouciance of our friends. With our overpowering intensity of our personalities, Dan and I need that every so often.

I'll leave it to you to look it up. Enjoy the words around you, and preserve the language you love!
insouciance

The Perfect Mom for Me

2011-01-09T08:11:00.000-08:00

I'm a girl. As such, I naturally clashed with my mother a bit, when a teenager. But over the years of adulthood, I'm growing to appreciate more and more the treasure I have in a mother. There are things she never had, that I take for granted. There are lessons her parents never taught, that she spent years instilling in me and my siblings. Now as I travel through parenthood, unsure and inexperienced, I realize just how much I still have to learn. And I never seem to catch up to her!

My mom is a trucker now, and far away most of the time. Oh, how I miss her presence in our lives! But thank goodness for cell phones and facebook. Between conversations and photo albums, we get to feel like a part of so exciting adventures and sights across the country, in the life of a female long-haul deliverer. And though I don't know how she does it -- I don't know if I could -- she has even been able to grow in faith with other lovers of Jesus and the Bible, in a dramatic and inspiring way.

In love with Hebrew and the Jewish nation, and in need of a church and something to do one Saturday morning, my mom experimented with visiting a Messianic synagogue one weekend and was amazed. The fervor and solid doctrine of the congregation, along with all the symbolism and meaning of the Jewish culture, drew her to a new level of faith and motivation for growing and seeking God. Amazingly, God arranged it for her to be able to pass through that town three weekends in a row, which almost never happens in her job, establishing lasting relationships with some of the people there.

Now she visits Messianic synagogues wherever she goes, and has worked her way out of trucker solitude. It also pushed her to relearn her beloved Hebrew, now that she knows some people who speak it, she has found a Christian music she likes, that of Jewish praise, which also employs her Hebrew. And in addition to sharing her testimony with those she meets, which she had been doing, she is now excited to help in the work of re-introducing the gentile church with their Jewish brothers, and introducing Jews to their Messiah. Check out where she's been finding community, at Beit Simcha .org . And check out Mom's blog, at http://kjontheroad.blogspot.com.

My eccentric, homey, traveling mother. Gotta love her!

mouse hunting

2011-01-08T22:37:00.000-08:00

I sat here in the kitchen of our farm home, fiddling on my computer in the quietness of night. Suddenly from the quiet I heard, skuttle, scratch...then quiet...then skuttle scratchity, then the tiniest squeery-squeery-squeak-squeak breaking the silence and sending shivers through me. The mice were back.

Earlier today I'd seen one scamper across the floor and under the dishwasher, but it had been several hours, and I'd all but forgotten about them. Now they were relentless. Scratching and squeaking and scratching and squeaking...every few minutes pulling me into the pantry to investigate. Every time looking and searching thoroughly, I found nothing. I finally assumed they were in the box of paper bags, tried but failed to find a mousetrap, alerted Dan, and returned to the table.

Sritchy scratchy...no, no. It's okay. Dan will handle it later. Back to work. squeaky squeak...oy, I hope they don't find food somewhere. Then it happened. Aha! On the counter a mouse had inwittingly revealed himself -- amid the bread, no less! Now I'd had it. Forming a standoff with Mr. Mouse in the corner of the counter, behind the bread basket, I stared him down and would not let him escape. At the same time I picked up the phone and dialed Dan, upstairs in his office, to come down to help immediately. He did, and with long thick gloves, a rustle and some awful squeaks, he had caught him in his gloved hands. I rushed to open the door for him, and way out in the snow the mouse went. Victory! Back to work.

Ten minutes later: scritchy scratchy scrawl scrawl. Oh, no! Is this another one, or the same mouse! On the counter again. A stand off, a call, a few strategically placed countertop items, a brave husband and some mouse violence that thankfully did not go through the glove, and out again...or perhaps to keep his friend company.

Ten minutes later yet: more scratchig and a flash of brown and a tail runs behind the toaster. Really? This is beginning to be routine. A call, a tussle, but no! He slipped behind the stove and we lost him in the pantry. More waiting.

In the pantry the noise stops, then picks up when all is quiet. I'll leave him be. Then, Uh-oh. I can't believe it! In the breadbasket, crawling around the bread! It keeps getting worse! Another call, another tussle, and way way out this time, halfway down the driveway he went, to find a new home in the woods.

Several hours later and no sounds. Perhaps we threw three mice brothers out, perhaps one very hungry one. We'll never know. But it sure was a rush! Never underestimate the importance and glee of excitement in marriage and home life...even if it does give you the jitters.

family in town

2011-01-06T17:30:00.000-08:00

My whole family has come and gone, and Dan's whole family has come and gone -- except one: Dan's mom. In this breath of calm and back-to-normal, the remainder of one relative actually makes it more relaxing and easy-going around here. This year Dan's "off-season" is busier than ever, but with Cathy here, there's always someone for Eddy and me to see and talk to. Eddy keeps bouncing between us for attention, which makes it much easier to get things done in between parenting. And how great is it to surprise and be surprised by meal making, favors and chores! There are plenty of things that neither of us like to do, which makes plenty of opportunities to joyfully help each other out, just to see the smile at the other end. And after four years of householding, I still find myself watching Cathy to see how to do things better. She is so efficient!

Ah, the joys of family. Free babysitting, camaraderie, wisdom, and so many other pleasures. Now we just need to move to a place that has family all year long...

Mom-in-laws, they're pretty awesome.

joy from the Lord!

2011-01-04T11:17:00.000-08:00

At the tail end of the holidays, having trickled down to only one relative in the house, all the fun and excitement has turned inward to memories and reflection. I'm sure you, as I, ponder the good and the bad of the season now gone. We consider the weight and responsibilities of the season at hand, and there is an element of somberness.

It is during these first two weeks of each year when I find myself in a predictable melancholy. I rest from the chatter, but become weary in the work. My body complains and refuses to be energetic, after growing accustomed to rich foods and much sleep. Most of all, I wake up to the dryness of my soul and neglect of my spirit. Apparently all the rush and roar succeeded to keep me just a tad too busy for God, once again. What a fool I was! It happened again.

Last night I was fed up with the sloth I'd become, and resolved to get back on a healthy routine, in getting up, in exercise, in housework, bookwork, and Bible. It has been no amazing day. More than anything I've been tired. But while reacquainting myself with my neglected radio speakers, I was inspired.

Someone had a guest on their show. This man told of a sudden sickness and an encounter with God. I trusted the host, so I turned up the volume and listened. He spent a night with the Lord, in conversation and communion, in his unconsciousness at the hospital. When he awoke he remembered the Lord's message. Don't worry, it was the same message God had been speaking to his heart the last decade or so.

He is a man who runs a car care show on television, "Car Crazy," and he has been slowly slowly responding to God's call in his life, which is the same call to all Christians: share the news. But there was a specific call he had ignored. He felt led to reach other lay believers and encourage them to share their faith as well. For years he ignored this tug on his heart. Then came a random terrible virus. Others spoke of not knowing whether this man would even survive. As the man put it, God got his attention by throwing him down and putting His foot on the man's neck, from which he struggled and wiggled for two weeks and finally was calm. When he was listening, God spoke to him again. He was emphatic this time. Do it now.

But despite the description, he didn't seem upset at all at the experience. There was joy in this man's voice I don't remember the last time I heard. Every word brought forth laughter. You could see the sparkle in his eyes and glow in his cheeks even over the radio. He said God's people seem weighted down by all the same things as unbelievers. They become middle aged and complain of lack of purpose and fulfillment. They get to the end of the day tired and unsatisfied. This should not be so!

God has given us a purpose! How can we find purpose outside of obeying God? Love God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul, and love your neighbor as yourself. Care about their souls, and prepare yourself to give an answer of the hope that is within you. In this all believers can be filled with joy, from feeling their purpose, their meaning in life. Our joy comes not from this world, but from God! And searching the ground, our lives, and our relationships to find it will only make us unhappy. We knew this when we met the Lord, so know it again. Don't cling to this life as others do. Embrace your eternal hope and purpose, and laugh for joy!

It made me smile just listening.

feeling Christmas

2010-12-17T15:26:00.000-08:00

Distraction, forgetfulness, and stress themed this December at the Hobbs' house. Christmas was neither front nor center. Family things happened, business things happened, personal things happened...and didn't happen. In summary, our minds were worn out and I didn't even care enough to decorate for Christmas (Dan didn't either, but that's normal for him). Could it really be only 2 weeks to Christmas?

I decided to take Christmas for what it really is: a celebration of Christ's birth. Honestly, to relax my mind, body, and soul enough to enjoy my family's company and remember that night would to me be joy realized.

With that resolution I went on with head higher. My tasks can be done. My heart can bear what it needs, to love. I walked into my Bible study of women (all stressed out from Christmas) and received acceptance, understanding, motivation, and prayer. Now, with hope and camaraderie I moved forward.

And moving forward, Christmas found me. In my chance meetings of friends at the store, good messages on Christmas cards, letting Eddy give to a man ringing the bell for the Salvation Army, receiving a box of oranges from a relative, and kind words from loved ones. That birth so long ago in the middle east really did revolutionize the world...and continues to change the world as far as Christ is "born" in the hearts of mankind. Yes, I am beginning to feel the holiday.

As I write this, the snow begins to flutter down. The house is getting cleaner and prettier and more festive as the day winds down and points to the arrival of Dan's parents. That's another thing: the arrival of family.

Look and see Christ around you, and have a very merry Christmas.

Blizzard!

2010-12-13T15:54:00.000-08:00

Looming weather forecasts all week, leading up to Eddy's anticipated weekend at Aunty Lindsey's. We headed out a bit anxious of what was before us, but the storm held off long enough to get Eddy safely to Rochester, and the two of us safely to our farm home in Afton. That night was calm, and lovely. A long snowy walk in a field, talk of carols and sleighs and mice scampering by, a swing on the tire, a snow battle, and a warm fire inside.

The next day was a bit more threatening. Snow and more snow, until we were worried about our planned drive to Eau Claire for a dinner party and serving at church in the morning. A bit more time and our worries were put at rest. No, the storm did not calm down: it got worse! Our dinner party called to cancel on us, and church emailed throughout the evening to say, 1st) Saturday night service canceled, 2nd) Sunday morning services canceled, 3rd) Sunday night meeting canceled. Off the hook there! We had only to stay snuggled inside and wait for the sun.

On TV was only news and weather, and the very important rescheduling of the Vikings game on account of the weather. A thousand stranded travelers slept at the airport that night. Plows and trucks and cars lodged themselves into snow banks and ditches all across the state. The hired plow guy (and every other plow) worked all night, even stopping at our driveway 3 times throughout the night. But the morning sun brought the biggest surprise.

A veritable sea of white had swallowed the ground we once knew. Swirls and tide pools and huge crested waves gleamed in the light. Tables and stairs and benches and anything else outdoors seemed to be sinking. It was beautiful, and shocking, and awe inspiring, and exciting -- especially when we saw on the news that it was the biggest snowfall around here on record. When you yourself are safe and warm, you can't help but smile at being part of history like that. I, personally, have been wanting a little more snow. Well, I got it.

We surveyed the damage and work and heroic rescue scenes on our way back down to Rochester. Many roads still harbored a thick layer of snow to be navigated. Snow so often blew across the highways that there were often hidden ice tracks, from all the previous travelers. Vehicles of every kind littered the sides of the roads. We got to Lindsey's and the "snow mountain" the kids liked to slide on had tripled in size. We greeted the family, gathered Eddy, and headed back toward Eau Claire. We could only guess what would be in store for us there.

There were wheel tracks through a somewhat plowed end of the driveway, until we got to where it split between our neighbor's house and ours. There we saw a wall. The wind chill was so cold Dan didn't want me to even carry Eddy through the snow to our house. We drove to the neighbors and he walked to find the tractor. About an hour later he called us home, with only a very narrow tunnel to get the car through. We got to the house and he stayed out half the night plowing, coming in to warm up, going back out. The next morning saw him out again on the plow, and Eddy and me with our shovels doing the walks, and porches, and everything else covered in snow.

Now with extra winter insulation, cool snow walls around each path, and gigantic mountains, we can warm up and enjoy the bounty God has given us this year. I'm pretty sure it will be a white Christmas.

2010-11-03T16:58:00.003-07:00

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boy's best friend

2010-10-16T11:53:00.000-07:00

Eddy and I went to Grandpa Peter's and Grandma Linda's house a little while ago. We had a great time! (sorry, no pictures. I had to take them with dad's camera, and haven't retrieved them yet). We said 'hello' to the horses, tried to find the kitty, played with the dog, ate the ever present grandparent treats, watched some cartoons and looked at old pictures. In short, we did all the things you'd expect when visiting grandpa.

But I noticed something interesting while I was there. Their dog, Hoppis, (small grey Scottish terrier, middle aged, but with lots of energy) acts exactly like Eddy! Actually, I should say it the other way round, since the dog is at least twice Eddy's age.

I was trying to get a shot of Hoppis. It was very difficult because once you put Hoppis somewhere, he immediately runs up and sniffs you or licks your face. So does Eddy (substituting hugs and hair-holding for the sniffs and licking, of course). I tried to get a decoration out of Eddy's grasp and he immediately pulls it away. So does Hoppis! They both love TV. They both love playing wildly with toys. They both love running fast outside. They both love running up and down stairs. And they both love eating!

Eddy and Hoppis were inseparable almost the entire time. They stole each other's toys, they chased each other, they hugged and kissed each other, they ventured into the barn together. They were two peas in a pod. Often we adults would sit and watch Eddy and Hoppis run round and round in a circle, chasing each other and having a grand time. Kinda makes me see one reason why people get dogs...

...not that I'm going to get one. He gets along with Hoppis well enough =)

talent and the body of Christ

2010-10-13T07:42:00.000-07:00

I just recently heard the new song from the Good Shepherd Band, the group that creates the amazing music for my brother and sister in law's church down in Indiana. It's really good. The sound is captivating. The singer's voice is incredible and married to the music. The message is clear and praises all that God is. It motivates. It celebrates. It calls you to praise. Play it and you'll see what I mean!

A while ago I read a chapter in a book by Joyce Meyer that mentions the body of Christ. She said she used to envy good musicians whenever she heard them, because she wanted to be a good musician, but wasn't. Then the concept of the body sank in: God created their talent to bless us. It is not for them. Our gifts are not for us but for them, and others. God has given each of us gifts to uphold each other, spread his good news, and to simply show his beauty by being made in his image.

I used to have this problem, as well. I'm learning. If we stop thinking about ourselves and focus on working together, as a body, then we can sit and bask in the beauty God has placed in others, and thank God for his plan, a plan of teamwork, a plan of humility, a plan of love.

Autumn bike rides

2010-09-29T15:10:00.000-07:00

Finally the sun came out and the air warmed up. The breeze scattered colorful leaves across paths and in front of everyone's eyes who chose to notice. Apparently most people missed the weather forecast, because Eddy and I were nearly the only ones out to enjoy the perfect day. That made it all the more perfect.

I dusted off the long ignored but beloved bicycle and Eddy's trailer and gathered together so many miscellaneous items involved in a ride. There sure is a lot to these things! Helpful Eddy wandered around finding things for me, until he became Patient Eddy, as he sat in the trailer and watched me run in and out and around with all the other things I forgot. Air pumped, adorned, packed and ready, we crunched our way to the road and whizzed out of sight...of home, that is.

Down a long easy hill to quaint Afton, then around in circles until we found the beginning of the St. Croix River Trail, a bike path we've admired since moving here. It was prettier than we'd thought, weaving in and out of woods and over creeks. Leaves beneath, all around, and hanging over us became that shadowy mysterious world we visit every now and again, when our mind allows us. Eddy called it the "dark tunnel," and enjoyed it immensely.

We re-emerged in the sun and on to the bridge crossing the St. Croix. Here came the most majestic part of our day. Right along the edge of the bridge and moving at a leisurely, look-around-you pace, we were able to take in the fullness of our River. All those sparkles, that span, the walls of multi-colored trees from where the tiny docks poked out. It made me swoon. I unwisely stopped on the highway bridge and took a picture. I couldn't help myself.

The cool bike trail switched back at the end of the bridge and curved right under the highway on the other bank, rejoined the road, and turned to head right into historic downtown Hudson. After many more picture stops, lessons in patience for Eddy, and a giant hill, we made it to the store. It severely lacks a bike rack, but otherwise our errand went well.

Across town, down the giant hill, through downtown, and we rejoined our new friend, the bike trail. Under the highway, over good view bridge, past fields and through woodsy tunnels to a wooden playground we went. It was the best place to go. A sedentary Eddy turned active and a worn out mommy sat on a bench on the phone. Then back up, up, up the Afton Blvd. hill until...after...what seems like...forever...we made it home. Yay!

Never underestimate the power of outdoor exercise! Thank the Lord and my husband for this stay-at-home mom life I lead. It has its perks.

weather savvy

2010-09-21T06:05:00.000-07:00

Late last night we experienced a really strong thunderstorm, lightening and thunder in loud, fast succession, pelting rain and hail, and tons of wind.

Eddy ran into our room and declared, "I'm scared." At first we popped him in our bed until it quieted outside a little (about half an hour), and sent him back to his room. Ten minutes later, back he came. "It's scary." We hugged him and sent him to bed. Ten minutes later, pat pat pat. Here he comes again.
   "I'm scared."
   "It'll be okay, sweetie."
   "Oh, I'll be fine." And he turned around and went to bed =)

Soon after, it got really bad. Dan went to check the weather, and to make sure his equipment and product were safe. Eddy and I were going to snuggle in bed until four words from Dan popped me out of bed with Eddy and blanket in arm faster than you'd think is possible at that hour. "Could be a tornado." We decided to wait downstairs.

The thunder got louder. The lightening got faster. So fast, in fact, I had to shut my eyes from the strobe light effect. Eddy was scared. I held him on a cushy chair and tried to stay calm. Dan didn't come in. The storm was really loud. I've never been in a tornado before. He said it is extremely loud and comes without warning. Will we have time to run outside to the cellar if it comes? Will that put us in danger of this close lightening? I couldn't take it any longer and popped out of the chair with Eddy. I was ready to head out to the cellar when I looked through the door on the porch and spotted Dan, sitting at the computer. I exhaled. Finally.

Dan was examining the weather radar in expert fashion, having studied meteorology and practiced "reading the skies" sensibly for his business for years. Boy, was I relieved. He was safe. He was right by us. He wasn't worried. Best yet, he wasn't doing anything drastic. The storm must be okay. We'll wait for a word from him. I sank into the chair, this time with truly comforting words for Eddy, because I was comforted.

"It'll be okay. Mommy's right here. I've got you. Daddy's right here. He'll protect us. God loves us, and he's bigger than any storm." We sat peaceful and quiet until Dan came in.

Apparently there were tiny dots of storms speckled from the twin cities all the way down to Iowa. The 5-mile speckle we were in was one of the worst, but it would soon pass. No tornado warnings or watches. No hail large enough to damage anything. Back to bed we went.

Pat, pat pat, in our room came Eddy again. Still too scary. 2:30am now. Dan just wanted sleep. Eddy wasn't going to leave, so I pulled him in bed. Dan jumped right out and retreated to the guest room.

I figured Eddy would wonder why so I explained, "Daddy had to leave because he can't sleep when you wiggle so much."
   Eddy's head sprang up. "It's okay mommy. It's not a problem."

He got sent back as soon as the thunder quieted.

Oh, and look at that! Another one of our trees got split in half. This one landed on our neighbor's cow pasture. No wonder that thunder was so loud. It sure was close.

BEFORE

AFTER

never a dull moment.

2010-09-18T15:01:00.000-07:00

I never would have believed it when I was a teenager, but it's true. There is never a dull moment for a parent. There are many cute moments, some happy moments, frustrating moments, exciting moments, even a few restful moments, but not dull. Eddy makes certain of that.

For the last 4-5 weeks Eddy (and his cousins when they were here) has wanted to watch one of the favorite kids' movies in the house: Curious George! But after searching the house over and over again, I gave up trying, and just told Eddy, "It's lost. Sorry, bud."

Today the temperature was in the 40's all morning, so Dan and I decided to start our first fire of the season in the wood stove. I'm recovering from the flu, and couldn't wait to get it warmed up in here. We started it late morning and by Eddy's naptime the house was warming nicely. He went to bed. Good timing, as it turns out.

A few minutes later Dan noticed some smoke coming from one of the vents in the wood stove. Maybe it's just dust from over the summer...but, seems like a lot of smoke for a bit of dust. Peering into the hole with a flashlight he spotted it. "It's Curious George." My heart sank. If only we had found it sooner.

Well, we set right to work. First we transported the red hot fire outside, via a metal trash can. I'm surprised Eddy didn't wake up to that. Every smoke detector in the house went off. (mental note: don't count on Eddy in a house fire) Then we systematically removed as much of the DVD and case from the vent as we could with Mom's old metal spatula, a bent metal yardstick and a needle nosed pliers. The plastic that remained we decided to burn off, with the windows open, of course. Time to bring the that fire back in.

The whole incident just made Dan and me laugh. There really is "never a dull moment"! Unfortunately Eddy won't be laughing when he sees what's left of his movie. Live and learn!

Good ol' Jeanne

2010-09-14T19:04:00.000-07:00

Every year Dan and I are running full speed in lawn care by March, every year we spend our summer weekdays an hour away from our hometown to run the business. Every year we come back some time in October and start to patch things up with our friends and get involved with church again. It's a schedule I've become used to. I don't panic anymore in the rush of things, but remember it'll pass, and it always does. But there is always pain involved.

Today I was feeling it a little more than usual, until an unexpected visitor walked right through my anxieties, and let me know I wasn't alone.

Jeanne is much older than me, Dan's mom's friend, in fact. But she's always been a nearby neighbor and friend to the Hobbs, as far as I can remember, and she feels right at home here. And ever since I moved in, I've benefited from their relationship. For Jeanne's heart never strays from a person, even if it's been a long time. She'll pop in and start a conversation on politics or kids or family or schedules just as easy as pie, with no awkwardness or catching up needed. Today it was as if I had never left, which is what I needed.

I think I'll take a lesson from this openhearted friend, and take her up on her invitation to "Come to our house any time of day." After all, she's just first right and a left and you're there.

Thanks, Jeanne.

a busy day with excitement in the air

2010-09-13T17:31:00.000-07:00

Dan went home to Afton last night. Eddy and I are staying in Eau Claire for the week. We have lots to do! Today we started our projects off with a bang and a rush and a lot of errand-running! The sun shone and we trekked from store to store, gathering really random supplies for gifts and events and meals and gardening and money-saving adventures. It was a tough job, but somebody had to do it!

I have to recognize Eddy for his relatively good attitude allllll afternoon, alll over town. It was a lot to ask for a less-than-three year old with no naptime. I did try to make it easy on him with a nice stop at the mall play area, lunch at Sam's Club, samples and snacks and lots of water.

My fingers are tingling with the busy state of this house come tomorrow morning! Time for Stage Next of our home-loving productivity!

I think everyone's fall back-to-school attitudes are rubbing off on me. Yippee! Here we go!

turkeys!

2010-09-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

I walked toward the greenhouse and spotted something brown in our field. Could it be...turkeys? Dan mentioned they liked to hang out there, but I'd never gotten close enough to get a good look. I quickly and stelthily ran through the greenhouse ducking behind blackberry bushes and carefully poked out the other side with my camera. There they were, eating away. There were a dozen of them! I'd never greeted wild turkeys from this close before. I love the country. Predictably they didn't like me, though. All of them trotted off to keep a good distance away each time I advanced. But they sure were pretty. After I'd scared them enough for one day I ran back home and left them to their field.

Anyone for wild thanksgiving dinner?

falltime

2010-09-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

Harvests. Fairs. Core aerations. Visits. Visitors. Farmer's markets. School kids. Allergies. Sweaters. Walks. Grill outs. Canning. Bonfires. College students.

This is my fall. One thing falls onto another, pushing yet another back later. Fun events crowd for importance until I can't remember the last time I cleaned. Mass vegetable processing is a weekly ritual. Winter is coming. I can feel it in my bones. You can smell the anticipation of rest in the cold wind around our house. The last services of the season. Only a few weeks to go. I try to keep my mind in active motion, instead of falling into the fog of suspense. Here we go.

Music concerts are everywhere. I was delighted to see a friend, Aaron Spina on his guitar at the farmer's market last month. Kudos to a town that appreciates local talent. I've also had many pleasant hellos with long lost acquaintances at the farmer's market. And the art booths are always worth studying. Eddy mostly enjoys the free samples and homemade treats.

The Minnesota State Fair is a long time tradition in my family. I'm very proud of it. Both my parents grew up in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area, and both went to the fair as kids. My dad, in a large family on a dairy farm, showed cows and projects with his siblings every year, and set aside the whole week and a half for the fair every year. My mom, a more recreational fairgoer, tells all about what the fair looked like when she was young. What it was, how it's changed, and those few booths that have stood the test of time. Dan, Eddy and I took an evening to visit the fair this year. We can't lose with tradition. We always make a point to spend as little money as possible, while enjoying the fair to the fullest. A $1 never-ending glass of milk from the milk barn, a ride with Eddy down the giant slide, and all else is animals, giant pumpkins, tractors, and people. It does help to bring tasty snacks along to ward off the mouth watering but overpriced fair delicacies all around. But just the sight of sky and lights and people at dusk is enough to make us happy.

My vegetables keep producing. When I'm done here I am off to check the ripeness of the cantaloupes and watermelons. I'll see if there is still more zucchini. I've done enough blackberry trimming. Now to see if I have a crop. I think some potatoes can be dug as well. There will be more chopping and boiling and freezing and drying today. Oh, for a commercial grade dehydrator!

The day after the fair, Eddy and I prepared our house for two extra kids, then traveled to Rochester to see Aunty Lindsey's new house and to pick up the beloved cousins, Emma and Elie. They greeted us with squeals and hugs and toys and tours, and we all ate together. They rode home with us to arrive already past bedtime. Personally I think everyone was too excited for their own good, and would've prevented some hurt feelings if they had relaxed a bit, but, what else do kids do? I still smile when I think of Eddy's reaction to the two extra beds in his room for the 2 nights. His head popped off his pillow like a spring every 5 seconds. He didn't want to miss a bit of fun. All day and the next, we crafted and cooked and gardened and swung and walked and watched movies and tricycled and scootered and bathed until I wore the kids out silly, as they did to me. The party moved to Eau Claire where we met their mother for another 2-day round. Then home and to bed for everyone.

There's a cold wind in the air every day. Sweatshirts and fleeces are required everywhere, in and out, especially in the mornings. My slippers and I are enjoying our reunion. Our church is preparing for all the grade-switching and huge swell of attendance during the first week of school for college and grade schools alike. This is my fall.

Danny's birthday!

2010-08-27T06:20:00.000-07:00

I've been planning a special birthday date with Danny for months! It was a lot of work to try to work out a babysitter and find good tickets for just the right show at this great restaurant and music club to which I had been introduced this spring. I told Dan waaaaaay in advance to block off his calendar for his birthday, and, despite being really busy this week (and being in Eau Claire instead of Afton), he obliged, and drove all the way back for his birthday.

Dan arrived at the house and found Eddy and me running around the house trying to get everything together. First we gave him some birthday hugs and kisses. Then we rounded everything up and hit the road pretty quickly. I was impressed. Off to the babysitter!

Apparently babysitter Kristen didn't tell her little girls that their friend Eddy was coming, because they were quite shocked to see us walk in the door, after three months of absence! They were very excited. Eddy was excited, too. He had been looking forward to seeing his friends for two whole days! And he had birthday cookies all ready to share with them.

Off we sped in our gorgeous clothes, our cool sunglasses and our shiny fast sports car/Subaru down I-94 toward the city, opposite all the rush hour traffic. We were happy, for a while, until we learned there was traffic in both directions. Oh. Good thing I planned lots of extra time to get there! We had plenty of time to park, walk to the restaurant, find our seats, mull over the menu 20 times before deciding, and open presents before the show.

It was a great show. I don't know if you've heard of the Gin Blossoms, but they were really popular in the 90's (I remembered several songs from the radio growing up) and have a new album out this year. (I did plenty of checking on youtube before buying tickets). It was a last minute visit for them, only a week and a half notice, but still the place was packed. And everybody joined in the fun. We were up on the mezzanine right in front of the stage, and found it provided the perfect balance of privacy and action, and a great view of the band. We clapped and hooted with the best of them, in between eating our gourmet (though a little more expensive than we're used to) dinner made by a nationally renowned chef.

We went on a walk after the show, enjoying the perfect summer evening of downtown Minneapolis. All the nightlife was lighting up, and the sky was still light blue. The huge harvest moon added to the mood. The ride back was much less crowded. With windows down and wind in our hair we jammed out to Daniel's other birthday present, the hip-hop sounds of tobymac!

Eddy was happy to see us and tell us all about the fun he had, I was happy for the night to be a success with no major hiccups, and Dan was happy for all we'd done for his birthday, especially for cookies to eat and new music to listen to on his hour drive back to Eau Claire.

Thanks, Danny, for being so great, and letting me show you a good time for your birthday. I'm so happy to be with you! Happy birthday!

highschoolers

2010-08-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

Last night I got to spend two hours with thirty of the greatest people at our church -- the high school group. Thanks to a precocious ten-year-old, a laid back mom, and a convicting message on Sunday (let's not get into the why), I got to attend a high school group hosted by the pastor's wife, at their house south of town. High schoolers can be some of the greatest people around, full of dreams and motivation and issues, and ready to take on life. I really identify with them, and I really wanted to get to know some of them more, maybe I'd even get to help them out in some way. Unfortunately my schedule doesn't exactly lend itself well to being a small group leader. But for one night only, I got my chance.

I recognized a couple of the girls in the Berthiaume's backyard when I arrived. But mostly I was nervous and didn't know how to approach anyone. Thankfully I wasn't the only "old person" there, and since everyone started out by having to paint letters on their faces, the ice melted quickly. Next came games. The theme: FEAR-FACTOR. I think I was the youngest old person there last night, and I was shocked at the yellow-bellied nature of the other leaders! Thankfully, they said it was all right for me to jump in with the high schoolers (who, I found out, weren't much better -- I guess it's not an age thing after all). Everyone got slimed with egg, tasted dog food, got splattered with jello and whipped cream from a bug digging race, and a lucky few even got to bob through red water for pig's feet! I considered it a privilege to get to do something with this group of people who are usually pretty sectioned off (and yes, I bobbed for pig's feet).

After games there was a short message on fear and super-small group time to pray for each other. This was my favorite part. I got to know the four girls in my circle better in those five minutes than in the previous five months of casual conversations after church. Plus I was able to rest some fears of unknowns about college for them and got to pray with them.

During the service on Sunday, we were told that you can never be too old to reach out to teenagers. May I add that you can't be too young either? If high schools set seniors up to help freshmen coming in, certainly no high school graduate should feel ill-equipped to talk to them. You've been there and made it through. That's big.

Thanks, high schoolers, for befriending me, and teaching me a lesson on life. Hopefully I'll see you again soon.

a semi truck show?

2010-08-21T20:01:00.000-07:00

Eddy and I had a very busy day yesterday. We bustled around the house half the day, then set out for a six-hour town trip, to have fun with Julie ("juwie!"), buy bridal presents, ride in the ever popular Juwie's Jeep, splurge on thrift store clothing, eat out with and say bye to Julie, pick up some items at the mall, stop at the play area, then walk out after dark to see...Wow! Look at all those lights! What's going on over there? "Mommy, let's go see the trucks!"

At this point I was dragged by the hand for the next 40 minutes from one semi truck to another to another, as Eddy's excitement transferred to what next caught his eye. And I was interested, too. These show trucks were amazing! There was everything from gigantic big rig tow trucks, to 50's style long haulers, to trucks with luxury full family sleepers, to a mini go cart semi truck. All had registration numbers and all were being polished up for the judges, hoping to win one of those big trophies in the corner, I'm sure.

But the lights were the coolest things. Think of pimped out neon gangster cars only x-times the size and the power. These drivers knew they controlled the road. There were grills with jaws on top or neon shining through, side-panels with flames or packers or psychedelic reflective colors, lights on the windshields, lights on the wheels, lights on the bumpers, lights on the exhaust pipes, lights on the engines, lights on the hoods, lights on the lights, colors and flashers and shapes and horns all going at the same time (now you understand why Eddy was so stimulated!) Even the registration booth was cool. It was, of course, a semi truck. The side of the trailer opened up and you could step right in to a full lit office room with desks and chairs and everything. On the outside it sported in large letters, "National Association of Show Trucks."

It was also fun to talk to the truck drivers themselves. When Eddy saw a guy putting away ramps on a flatbed or explaining the stats of an engine to someone, he wouldn't hesitate to give them a high five, or a bump, or even a bear hug. And they were always happy to say hello.

I caught a few pictures, but honestly, they don't do the night justice. You gotta see it for yourself! And make sure it's at night!

BREAD baking

2010-08-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

The smell of freshly baked bread wafting from the oven is unparalleled in the happy impressions of my childhood. It told us that Mom's warm, soft, fluffy, hard crusted bread was about to come out of the oven and be smothered with melty butter for us kids to devour.

My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Or is it watering because a similar smell is wafting through the air as I write this? Today's batch of several loaves is about to come out of the oven and be tested to my family's high standards for palatability. I'm trying some healthier alternatives to the not-too-nutritious and far-too-poisonous store-shelf foods.

I've finally come back to my roots of making bread. Like most of us, I've gone away from my childhood training, in favor of a busy work and event filled schedule. But today I stumbled across one of the many cookbooks I picked up as a youngster (during my restaurant aspirations) that, of course, I had never read. Amazing the insight one can gain by actually reading some of those pages sitting over on the shelf! What I found was enlightening. I learned about natural nutrition in different ingredients, and how much is lost in processing foods. Now, I know some nutritionists are against bread altogether, but for a bread-habit family, I found lots of new and vastly healthier options than Hostess.

Have you ever heard of using brown rice flour, soy flour, corn flour, carob powder? Who of you has made hardtack or Swedish flat bread? These are all experiments I plan to tackle as soon as I get a little better equipped to be "the adventurous cook," as Ms. Hunter puts it. I've always loved fresh bread, but now I take it to a new level. And I will try everything I can to find a homemade cheese cracker to substitute for the salt and hydrogenated oil store-bought version! Can you imagine eating a fresh-out-of-the-oven cracker? YUM!

creativity

2010-08-17T13:55:00.000-07:00

I don't know anyone who doesn't have a creative streak. It is one thing I can somehow find in common with everyone I talk to, though sometimes they don't think so at first =)

Yesterday I had a coffee date with a friend at the McDonald's playplace to catch up. We have completely different jobs, different family and in-law situations, we are both married, but we have completely different ideas about kids and adventure, and several other things. But she is a great, compassionate girl that I admire a lot and really appreciate having as a friend (even with all our differences).

She asked me how I was doing, and, in typical Nomie style I talked nonstop for the next 5 minutes. I told her about the family and work, then went into all the exciting (but not always longlived) crazy plans and ideas I had of things to create -- from painting to woodworking to music to words, etc. Then I asked her what she was doing for fun. She answered, "Reading."

I love to read, too, but I knew there was more that made her grin than other people's masterpieces. A few minutes later I found it. She was talking about their spare room, and she mentioned it was the last one to decorate, then she'd be done with the house. She was relishing in the idea of choosing the style and decorations, and moving other items from elsewhere into that room. She was actually sad to be done with the house, "All I'll have to do after this is redecorate. That's not nearly as fun to think about."

So, the master creator came out at last. And that's only in the visual sense. We didn't even get to all the heart transforming conversations, lessons, small group plans, music schedules, and events she plans for the highschoolers! Now that's something I've never done!

God created us all to be an image of him. Did you think he'd leave out the creativity aspect in that? Hardly! Celebrate the creator in you, and share God's beauty =D

a new back driveway

2010-08-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

Today a clay mud pit was turned into a beautiful driveway.

It is a great day for work trucks.

jumping in the river with your clothes on

2010-08-11T18:26:00.000-07:00

It's been really hot here lately. There was even a heat warning out a couple days, and we had to send our employees home mid-route. Everyone in the town of Afton had to choose whether to roast their skin in humidity or cower in the dark by the air conditioner. Most people chose the latter. One such day was Monday. It was a strange thing for Dan, Eddy and me to spend the whole day in the house together. Last time that happened we had to break loose and go to the museum (and, as it turned out, the famous MICKEY'S DINER). This time we went to the beach.

The evening was just starting to cool off when we headed to the nearby town of Lake St. Croix Beach. This town sits just upstream our beloved Afton, but is much more popular on days like these, because this town has -- as the name implies -- a beach. And that's about all they have. There are signs posted on every street that read, "No parking on ANY city street". And they have only one parking lot: the beach parking lot. I love small towns.

We parked and walked the gravel road to the shore together. Eddy's sandals kept falling off, making it a haltingly slow process...until we stuffed them in the diaper bag and held him off the ground by both arms. Whatever works! Ah, the sandy goodness! Shoes were kicked off, the waves were flirted with, and Daniel dove in for a much needed cool down. There were plenty of people there that day, which made me happy. I love enjoying the weather with others. It was quite like a local party, everyone invited, no charge. Then I noticed something: Eddy wasn't swimming. He wasn't splashing. He wasn't even getting his feet wet. The all too familiar "I don't wanna swim," was all he would say. This would take some work.

I prodded him from the shore, Dan coaxed from the water, but he would not go in. Why does he have this propensity to do what will only make him unhappy later? Finally I bit the bullet. Though still dressed in my tie-dye skirt and t-shirt, I picked up Eddy and stepped in the water. "I'll just go up to the knees." Right. One thing led to another, and I was as wet as Eddy. Finally, I couldn't resist the urge of going all in with hippie clothes on. It just seemed to fit. So, though I had my swimsuit on underneath, I dove in and swam all the way out, skirt and all =) I got out, got all sandy and jumped back in. Why don't more people do this?

Eddy did realize he liked the water. He walked as far out as he could stand, he and I attacked Daddy with splashes, we even let him dunk a couple times. It was a blast.

Eventually people began to disappear from the party, the sun went down, and a layer of mosquitoes graced the top of the ripples (haha, as if mosquitoes ever "grace"). We trudged through the sand and over the gravel to the car. What a successful trip! Laughter and pleasant talk filled the car all the way home and followed us in the house, just in time to open up the windows for the night.

A Garden Update

2010-08-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

I have had the pleasure of growing a full garden this spring and summer. Now we are reaping the benefits of many of the vegetables we planted, after a lot of weeding when I got home from California. Check out the delightful surprises waiting for me when I got home, as well as the transformation from jungle to garden again, today =)

Here's to yummy, healthy, efficient, GREEN and old-fasioned dinners! Here's to gardens.

We got home to a homestead surrounded by mature weeds and tall grasses waving in the wind. But when I dug around a while to find my mound vines, I was shocked to discover 3 and 4 foot zuchinni and huge cucumbers just waiting to be picked. Eddy instantly fell in love with cucumbers and we feasted in our harvest celebration.

The corn had shot up several feet in the couple weeks we were gone...

...there were big green tomatoes weighing down the tomato plants...

...the peppers were just right...

...all the chives were knee-high!

...and the potato plants were in full bloom.

We also apparently had a garden friend. I found him a new home.

Our house garden when I got home...

...and this is after several hours on my knees weeding =) ta-da!

Ever more green peppers for the picking.

Now that the weeds no longer block out the sun, my asparagus have started to grow!

My carrots are big and bushy.

My tomatoes are Oh so close to being ready! I can't wait (p.s. they have more green leaves than shown, but they did get some disease because I found some mature cherry tomato plants that I did not grow, and let them grow with my tomatoes and, well, give them diseases. Never again! Thankfully the fruit is not harmed.)

And there are new cucumbers every day!

Our beloved herb garden with all our favorite flavors.

Once I located the cantaloupe plants in between 5-foot weeds, I was somehow able to pull everything out and keep them in, and now they are actually growing! See all the blossoms that are soon to be melons?

One of the ever faithful and productive zuchinni plants. They never let the weeds beat them!

And my beautiful watermelon vines that I'm so pleased to announce have filled out and taken full advantage of their territory, also replete with blossoms. It's only a matter of weeks now =)

Sadly, all the onions tipped over when they no longer had weeds to hold them up, and many are dying and having to be harvested early. But they're still very tasty. Eddy was proud of being able to harvest one all by himself.

Happy gardening!

My relationship

2010-08-03T13:45:00.000-07:00

I have a personal relationship with God. It is the greatest joy the world has ever known. And my relationship with him is as unique as I am. Let me tell you about it.

God is my passion, my love, and my friend. At times he speaks to me so dearly, holds me so close, and makes my way so beautiful and smooth, I cannot help but overflow to everyone I see of my dearest love and sing his name out from the rooftops each morning! Other times, when I withdraw into myself in sadness and self-pity, his calm direct voice cuts deep, into the heart of the issue, causing tears to flow from my eyes, and draws me out into the light once again.

My relationship with my dearest friend is not as smooth as some, but it is filled with beauty and power and goodness. It is also strongly tied to nature, his own flamboyant art project. He draws me to himself in this world that he created, healing my emotions in the aromatherapy of the breeze, driving out doubt in the sharp light of the sun on snow, and building my strength in the daring demeanor of a mountain side. He has called on birds to wish me a happy birthday when I felt like no one else would. He has sent me a bouquet of a million sunflowers on a day I felt stressed and unappreciated.

My dear friend also inspires my own creativity, and tutors me in the craft of art and passion. He is such a master at art, and suggests to me so many great ideas that fill my heart with joy! And when I embark on these projects, I experience ownership, skill, love and generosity, so much so that he and I usually decide to give each thing away -- to share the beauty and inspire others. And passion, what can I say about passion but that it is an invaluable treasure. My friend is filled with passion, and oh, how contagious it is when I'm around him! He also places gems of passion in my heart, for good things, purposeful, noble, significant things. Each one fills my life with meaning. They also keep me accountable to him, as I learn to take responsibility for those gifts.

Through the years our relationship has not grown flatter or more even keel. It has become bigger and more flamboyant than ever! But, I also understand more, more of his ways, the world, and my own relationship with him. And each year he teaches me a new lesson. Each spring, I awake with the flora and fauna and move quickly toward summer. The hot sun wears me down and hurts me, as he teaches me of patience one year, obedience the next, trust, and on. But the heat always gradually ripens my mood toward God through July, until I am bursting with God's praise in my heart and sharing it with everyone. Such is where I am now, and why my blog is filled with notes about this friend, who deserves every praise.

Perhaps you live in a more temperate climate like California or Florida, and your relationship reflects such. Perhaps mine will change when I leave my location. But whatever happens I know that his love for me will be constant, and I will be drawn to him all the more.

Here is a glimpse of my relationship with my maker. Tell me about yours!

repentance

2010-07-27T06:34:00.000-07:00

Repentance is to realize that you put something before God, that you've betrayed your king, the one person who gives you your purpose and fulfillment. It is to finally open your eyes and see the filth, to cry out in anguish, and beg him to cast it away from you, far away. You want to be clean.

It is to know that he's already paid for your sin and cast them away; you've already been made clean, and you are still. It is to know that he's given you a new heart, the essence of the 'you' he created you to be, of all your true potential, of everything that would be impossible for you without Christ.

It is to stand with newfound determination and direction and hope. It is to renew your alliance to your king. It is to love and follow him once again, yes, and all the more.

"...It will be counted to us who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification. Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God." -Romans 4:24-5:2

Woolgrowers, Los Banos, California

2010-07-23T08:30:00.000-07:00

The Van Dyke sibling camping trip ended Tuesday night in a delightfully different dinner at Woolgrowers, a French Basque restaurant that serves a family style six-course meal with huge allotments of meat and where delicious red wine comes standard. All the siblings, in-laws, and little cousins sat around a room-length table, under a tall, warehouse style ceiling, and surrounded by old fashioned French maps, paintings, and advertisements. I never imagined a French restaurant to be this down-to-earth. All my expectations of tiny artistic portions of rare food are obliterated. We feasted on as much soup, potato salad, beans, salad, stew, french fries, meats of all shapes and flavors, fresh fruit and ice cream we could hold, passed around and shared. No wonder this restaurant has sustained 80 years of changing economy. It's fun and timeless.

After dinner, we all posed in front of a wall in the parking lot to get some group pictures, and group videos. (check out Lukas' facebook video) Then hugs followed everyone to their cars and we went our separate ways. Eddy kept his tradition of waving every car off until, in the last car out, we left for Sam's house once again.

here again

2010-07-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

Here we are at home. It feels like so long since I've been here. I missed my Danny terribly, and so did Eddy. Eddy scarcely spoke a word Wednesday that didn't involve seeing Daddy =) How special it was to walk out of the airport and see Danny's face once again. Eddy always gets loud when he's excited, so every head on the sidewalk turned when Eddy and Daddy were reunited.

The Van Dyke sibling camping trip ended in a delightfully different dinner at a French Basque restaurant, from which everyone got home late and tired. Wednesday was spent sleeping in, packing, visiting the Woodfields again, then driving the beautiful road straight westward to the San Francisco International Airport, Nicki at the wheel. Over each mountain pass the air became 10 degrees cooler and more humid, starting with an arid 90 degrees and ending with a balmy 60 at the bay. Along the way we saw many orchards, then deserts, then dry mountain peaks, each one capped with scores of very old windmill generators. Soon there was a train railing along by us with commuters to the city, then the roads became larger and busier until we found ourselves skimming just over the water on a six-lane low bridge. The bridge was several miles long and rose gradually until we were flying way over the water, with a grand view of Oakland and the cloud that covered up San Fran. On to the airport.

Goodbyes and hugs and into the most beautifully constructed airport I'd ever seen. Towering high ceilings hosted 3-story windows of the plane yard, giant tile murals, and framed paintings. 3rd floor balconies with seating by the windows also overlooked all the gates, which were nestled in below, on the 2nd floor.

Both in good spirits after a relaxing car ride and good lunch, Eddy and I were easily able to cope with the airport pressures, thanks to the help of the amazingly accommodating airport staff (waiving the baggage fee to check our bags, carrying our carseat on the plane for us, and other kind gestures) With snacks and the ability to give Eddy freedom because of the placement of the gate, both our moods stayed elevated all the way on board. But nothing kept us from missing "daddy".

There were several upsets on the plane as the night grew later and Eddy grew ornery, but no earaches, and no more than I could handle with grace without dampening my evening in the least. Then we descended. Then we landed. Then we taxied. Then we parked. Then everyone stood. Then the doors opened. Then we packed our bags and car seat. Then we filed out. And we were free! We were IN Minnesota, our hearts racing to see the one we loved the most. Through the maze, down to the baggage claim, we searched all over the room...but no Danny. Where could he be?

A quick phone call and some confused conversation and the mystery was revealed: "He's outside in the car! Let's go." Again the momentum rose as we raced down the sidewalk lined 2 and 3 deep with cars loading and unloading until, second row out, behind a group of passengers, we spotted the BioLawn symbol! "Daddy!" Eddy jumped in the front seat to see his Daddy while I ran back to get the bags. With the bags and stroller loaded and Eddy strapped in, I finally got that hug and kiss I was waiting for. We were finally here again...finally home.

Sibling Camping Trip 2010

2010-07-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

We had another sibling camping trip. We love our tradition. Always some place new, always different activities, but always sibls, always tents and pickup trucks and campfires, and always fun. The last trip was 1.5 years ago (January 2009) and the oldest cousin, Eddy, was the age that the next-in-line, Caleb is now! Everyone kept getting confused over this fact ("Caleb MUST have gone with us...there was a baby there!") It's an easy mistake. Eddy is so grown up now. He converses casually with the adults and occasionally even contributes helpful information (though it's rarely noticed on account of his kid voice). He has his many moments of "accidents" and tempter tantrums, but he's certainly not the wobbly wide-eyed munchkin Caleb is today. Just the memory of those days makes me smile. And to think, next camping trip Caleb will be the new toddler-mania, and Whit will take over for Caleb's mobile baby stage =)

Every year our lives are so different, too. Sam & Nicki are new parents, Lukas is married to Suzy, and many other life altering changes have occurred for each of us. Still, they were good old times getting together like that. My sister Jule is amazing at meal planning, and with everyone's cooperation we were able to eat high class-yet-campy food for every meal, even with the budgets of 20-somethings. We also kayaked on the small river by the campsite, went blackberry and cat park adventuring, went for ice cream, stayed up late playing games, sacked out in the sun to nap and read, sang and played guitar, and soaked in the togetherness of these siblings whom we seem to never get to see. I was lovin' the California-ness, too...oh, and the extra babysitters!

Tomorrow Eddy and I go home. It's been a long trip and can't wait to see my Danny boy! But I'm so glad to renew my relationships with siblings.

our walk

2010-07-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

It's interesting how our happenstance affects our thoughts on God and truth. This last week I've had conversations with siblings about the role of family and about parenting, with strangers at church about salvation, with Buddhists on a train about God, with Mormon's at their church about the Bible, and with many others about various topics. My mind has be flooded with deep, allbeit frustrating, thoughts and queries.

In fact, all these thoughts and conversations have been so exhausting, I will not think about them anymore, but will simply give you a snapshot from yesterday:

Sam and I loitered on the sidewalk with our respective sons in their respective strollers. We examined each stroller and discussed the vast differences between them. Whit was in his carseat, nestled into the backward-facing, eight-wheeled folding stroller, with cargo space, plastic wheels, and many adjustment and swivel options -- it was a steal from Craigslist, and it was high class. Eddy was in a borrowed stroller that a New Zealander had given Sam & Nicki. It actually didn't look like a stroller at all, but more like a two-wheeled dolly for moving boxes, only with a seat and handlebars, canopy, and straps on the back for converting to a backpack!

Finally Nicki poked out of the door. "The cake will be done cooking in 2 minutes." It was hard, but we managed to wait, then commenced down the sidewalk.

Around the corner we strolled, and on through my brother's neighborhood, of small old houses and low-income apartments. I breathed in the dry cooling air of west central California's July. Everything struck me as old here, compared to Wisconsin. Maybe it's because the trees have longer growing seasons. Maybe it's because the sun beats down so harshly, softening colors. Maybe it's because items last longer with the absence of corrosive rust. Or, maybe it's simply my old childhood memories of the state, with its hibiscus hedges covered in lavish silky blossoms, it's giant Eucalyptus trees, it's waving Queen Palms against the white sky, the dusty earth, and the friendly Hispanic culture I've grown to miss.

As sunset approached, Sam pointed out friends' houses, street changes, and houses for sale. Whit looked up at his daddy with interest one moment, and was asleep the next. Eddy loves dolly rides, so this stroller was his favorite. He tested the limits of every novelty, and tested our patience. But the many many kids playing and biking around us kept him cheerful. I conversed with my brother while basking in the beauties we went through, and Nicki walked, mostly quiet and happy...happy for the company...happy for the weather...happy to be a mom.

Whitaker!

2010-07-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

I got to meet new baby Whitaker! Hooray! I love the littleness and tininess, the sleepiness and wrinkliness. He has a little baby cry, and eyes that are not even used to the light yet! Life is so hard to figure out for a newborn. I love being the first sibling to meet him, and getting to help his mommy (Eddy's Aunty Nicki) out in this unique time. Neighbors stop by all the time to see the baby and ask how everything went. What a privilege to visit right after the baby comes home from the hospital. There's nothing as special.

Come and meet the new tiny man who just discovered there's a larger world out there: that of mommy's and daddy's house. Congratulations brother Sam! Congratulations Nicki! Your family loves you, and loves the new little baby nephew, cousin, and grandson. So much potential all wrapped up in one little guy.

California siblings

2010-07-10T15:24:00.000-07:00

I sit on the couch of my sister,
My sister in California.
My sister a mother,
My sister at home,
My sister asleep on her bed.

I type on my sister's computer.
A computer well used and cared for.
A computer for family,
A computer for shows,
A computer for work and for play.

I ponder the ways of my sister.
The ways of creation and practice.
The way that she mothers,
The way she corrects,
The way that she teaches and learns.

I wait for the baby of sister.
The baby all sleepy and tired.
The baby to wake,
The baby to cry,
The baby to play with his mommy.

I love to spend time with my sister.
Time out and time in and with kids.
To introduce cousins,
To go for a walk,
To parent and sister and be.

on to vacationing!

2010-07-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

Today is the day...it's all downhill from here! We woke up at 'Gramma's' house in Eau Claire, we finished packing the items that we didn't have in Afton. A couple errands and we're set for the month.

Forrest will come in today and we'll go to dinner with him and Cathy...that's vacationing!
Tomorrow will be filled with Hobbs family fun activities...that's vacationing!
Sunday, July 4th will come, and with it will be happy festive friends at church...vacationing!
Straight from church to Dad's house for a Van Dyke reunion! Vacation time!
A ride with Aunt Bonnie to the airport and Eddy's loooooooonnnnnngggg awaited airport and airplane time will commence...our vacation!
A packed week in Los Angeles with the siblings...hooray for vacationing!
A train ride with Eddy! Vacationing!
A whole week with brother, silly, and a brand new baby! What a great vacation!
Siblings all camping together...vacationing!
Reuniting with hubby to see what life brings us next...

vacationing =) here we come.

a mentor

2010-06-28T06:13:00.000-07:00

I met with my friend Connie yesterday. Every couple weeks my two former Bible study leaders, Connie & Bonnie, and I go walking together and talk about life. This week Bonnie couldn't make it and Connie didn't feel like walking, so the two of us just sat on her beautiful porch and conversed.

Connie is about twice my age, has grown children and grandchildren, is a skilled flower gardener, and loves birds. (she's even gotten hummingbirds to sit on her finger!) And the mystery of her godly legacy and journey continues to unfold every time we meet. (For example, this week I learned she used to be part of a clown ministry and still keeps her homemade 5-foot long Q-tip in her basement for sentimental reasons!) I feel privileged to spend time with her. Though I am blessed to have very insightful and gracious parents and in-laws, there's something special about a relationship unbent by biases or relational complications, an outsider who can see clearly in.

We talked of everything from birdhouses to weddings to sickness to God's ultimate plan for the world, and how faith fits into to it all. We sat there for three hours just talking. I was astounded when I saw the time, and thankful for this woman who would take out that time for me.

I have a lot of things to think through today, and some steps to take =)

"And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." -Titus 2:4-5

Romans 8

2010-06-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

I put Eddy to bed for the third time for his nap. It was hot and sunny. I fought discouragement. My productivity this morning seemed less than satisfactory. My energy was waning. I wanted motivation. I felt like sleeping. The trees and grass and crickets beckoned me outside and I followed. I wandered and stomped and sighed. I searched for passion in my soul again. I found apathy, weariness, confusion, defeat, then answers.

Of course I know where to find life! Of course I know all is not lost! The giver of life calls to the weary, the money-less, the brokenhearted to come and drink from the spring. I knew to drink from the spring would bring life, but I still felt parched...and in my thirst could not feel the truth I once knew. So back from my memory I drew.

My Bible lay back in the house. I hadn't the mind to go the long distance back. I forced into memory a chapter from my youth -- a wonderful chapter, with many memories attached to it, and many lessons. Perhaps if I could get through it I would find the strength I needed.

The first few verses slid off my tongue easily, but I stumbled through the next few. Running back and forth over the following to sort out which came first, I pondered the meaning in the words. "The law of the spirit of life hath made me free from the law of sin and death..." hmmm... free. Free to live true life...this life I've experienced a taste of and long for more. "That the righteousness of the law would be fulfilled in us..." God really does think me special to place such an important purpose on my life. "but ye are not in the flesh but in the spirit..." "he that raised up Jesus from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his spirit that dwelleth in you..." The spirit is in me. He is in me. He guides me. "we are the children of God, whereby we cry, 'Abba, Father..." Again, how special, how purposeful, how releaving of fear. "the whole creation groans and travails in pain together..." "all things work together for good, to them that love God..." "for I reckon that the trials of this present age are not worthy to be compared to the glory which shall be revealed in us" Here there is no denying the trouble, no denying the chaotic mess of pain...but again purpose...plan. "who shall lay anything to the charge of the elect..." God is my judge. "we are killed all the day long..." "for I am persuaded that neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Mmmmm...the perfect peace in the knowledge of God's unending love...so much depth and importance to unravel...

I stood in that moment less like a failed mother and woman, and more like a born princess. Not to say I was any more graceful or pretty or rich, but I had a silent power behind me and I knew it. I had a royal purpose, a noble purpose...to love as Christ loves...to listen to the Spirit. I was important to the king, and my attitude impacted those around me. I knew my place in the world. I could give and serve without fear.

I walked back. I was met with our secretary out in the grass, holding Eddy and explaining how he said he wouldn't take his nap. I sighed and took another path than before. I faced it, took charge, and showed compassion.

Never underestimate the power of truth learned and lived and remembered.

spitting, jumping, and playing with gramma

2010-06-21T07:06:00.000-07:00

Eddy's phases are really funny. Right now he's into spitting and jumping. When we were at the Stillwater Clinic on Thursday waiting for Dan to come out, Eddy decided to "scare" the fish in the tank by spitting at them. He was sure they "ran away" and everyone in the waiting room laughed. And when he wants to count something, he's been insisting on jumping up and down for each number. I think he's just so proud of learning the skill that he has to show it off.

Gramma got to experience all these Eddyisms firsthand as we visited together, and while she graciously babysat him for me. They went on all sorts of adventures, and Eddy was very excited to get some special presents from gramma, too. He had a great time, but got completely worn out every day, taking long naps, and sleeping in. I think that's the way it should be.

late night jazz

2010-06-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been very full for me, too full to fit in one post without this blog turning into a chronological journal of events (which I am determined to keep it from being). Not all information is necessary. So today, I will dwell on the beauty of Friday night: a crazy outlandish night for me.

The many fun, small town Afton activities had ended with Cathy and me putting Eddy to bed and wishing him well. It was late, nearly 10 o'clock in fact, and he had a long day. As he drifted to sleep and Cathy settled down to do some reading, my adrenaline increased as I quickly washed my hair, picked out clothes, and tried to reach Alyssa on the phone via Skype. I hoped she wouldn't get lost trying to find our house. In a last desperate attempt I drove up on the hill to get cell phone reception. Yes! She answered. Just crossing the bridge. Perfect. I gave the remaining directions to our house, and rushed back home to finish packing all the "just in case" items for this unfamiliar event. Headlights shone in the drive and I ran and jumped in the van.

"Go up here and turn right, it's shorter. Thanks for doing this, Alyssa, especially for someone you've only met once." "No problem! I'm excited to let you experience this for the first time! It'll be great."

Conversation opened and deepened as the 35 minute drive rolled on. Why hadn't I gotten to know this girl earlier? She was sweet, and interesting, and involved in the same endeavors I am or have been. She was friends with my friends, goes to my church, she's my age, and loves music and language. And yet I never had the gumption to venture a conversation for the sole reason of not having done so before. Now was my chance. I would make a connection, and I did.

The city here we come! All the fear and vulnerability I had about a strange city late at night had, as I hoped, been abated by joining someone else familiar with the scene. A parking garage, a downtown walk among clubbers, and then, there it was.... "dakota". The cursive blue neon stood out against the shaded intersection, and the door was bustling with comers and goers. If you, dear reader, have never experienced a "cover charge" before, I beg you to do so. It is terribly exciting, though expensive.

Reunion with musician friends, and new meetings with a circle of friends I'd never put together in my mind. Beverages and tables, introductions and fun stories fill the room with noise until a jovial voice transcends them all. My friend John Raymond stands at the microphone holding a trumpet, with dress pants, untucked white dress shirt, and skinny black tie. He stands in front of four other casual young men on a mini grand piano, a bass, full drum set, and saxophone. Twenty-five minutes to midnight the music begins.

The mood sets in as the pure sounds of emotion fill the air. Fingers and toes of the listeners tap in response to the smooth tones. Free jazz melts into classics of John Coltrane, Miles Davis and others, but mostly John's newly written masterpieces reign over the ensemble of perfectly cooperating instruments. All play together in harmony until, who knows how, you hear the trumpet above the rest. He displays a wide range of scales and jumps filled with emotion and skill as every tone quality possible to the trumpet is heard. Fluid and free, yet somehow in sync with the rhythm, the musical story unfolds, getting more and more exciting until the trumpet solo comes to a climax and ends. A large applause overlaps the others playing on, and John walks to the side. Next, as before, all play together until Alyssa's boyfriend on the saxophone transcends. More applause, and so goes the song, each dominating in a magnificent solo, and each introducing his fellow musician, piano, bass, then drums, tell each their own full story in all its spontaneity and craft. A full band finale of the original theme concludes the piece to the exhilaration of the audience.

Every so often John introduces each player in appreciation for their individual skill, and describes the titles and motives of each song, including "Dani's theme" in honor of his beautiful new wife of three weeks sitting front and center.

As I sat swallowing the awkwardness of knowing no one there very well, I looked around the room. Couples young and old filled the booths around the perimeter, and women in full jazz attire of long wavy locks, full makeup and seductive, formfitting dresses and jewelry spotted the tables. Men with ruffled hair and casual dress clothes joined them, as well as the many college students in jeans, supporting their graduated friends on stage. Alcohol was abundant, but only made everyone mellower rather than rowdy. It was just the way I pictured a jazz club to be, how I'd seen it in the movies. A very large chalkboard covered half of one wall with huge letters advertising tonight's and upcoming guest performers, and there was a mezzanine with more tables, surrounding the whole room.

Nearly 2am now, as we each hug goodbye to those we know, and are off. Another 35 minute drive and conversation continues to gain interest. But we're both exhausted. "See you tomorrow at the wedding!" "Yep, get some sleep."

I slink into the silent house still swimming in the sounds in my head. Too tired to be anxious about anything, I swoon to the imaginary music, fold some laundry, and collapse into bed at 3am. "I hope Eddy sleeps in."

she did it again. "Confidence: Reliance on the Spirit" by Aunt Peggy

2010-06-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

There were a lot of contrasting opinions surrounding this book. But I was determined to keep an open mind, while maintaining a balanced view as I read it, in order to give a quality review.

My opinion changed many times while this story unfolded, perhaps because I was thinking too much. I didn't want to overlook anything. I wanted to give the story my full attention. It was worth it. I was very impressed. Though I know this contradicts the opinions of some, I must be honest.

This book is a fiction story about a young woman, for young women, the second book in a 5-part series. It picks up right where the first book left off, making it easy for the reader to jump right into the story, and removing the need for too much additional stage-setting information. Instead, we get to know the main character, Lilia, much better. The first book covered all her accomplishments, habits and relationships; this one dove right in to show her deepest desires, confusions, challenges, and life changes. Like the first book, Lilia's circumstances never get boring, as her talents and beauty bring her all sorts of triumphs and trouble.

Unlike the first book, this book addresses the issue of sexuality squarely in the face. This, of course, was why some disapproved of the book. I had a different reaction. I remember being around that age, and going through so much of the emotional road Lilia traveled, but going through it blind. I had a horribly wrong view of intimacy, and I struggled because of it. Lilia's story matched so well to my experience, I believe if I had read this book while I was that age, my decisions would have been a whole lot better. This book satisfies some curiosity of the teenager not with shallow teen aged intimacy, but good examples of love and commitment by parents. It shows that it's possible to do what's right, why we should do so, and plays out the rewards of those who do. It also shows how Lilia's feelings and desires change through time and experience. And it shows all of this under the loving, guiding Christian hands of Lilia's parents and grandparents.

Lilia's life is truly transformed in this book, from the role of the fun-loving farm girl, to the station of competent and passionate celebrity and artist -- though she can't seem to get rid of that kiddish streak, one moment showing all the maturity of an adult, and the next disappearing to pull yet another outrageous (and sometimes dangerous) prank. She leads people to Christ in one scene, and throws deafening fits the next. The story makes it seem like that's just part of who she is...or perhaps it's the job of her beau to tame her. He gets furious at times with her antics, but deep down seems to not ever want her to change...or at least not to lose that fire that makes her so amazing.

Over all this is a well written story, but somewhat incomplete on it's own. You'll definitely want to read Innocence: Simplicity of Spirit first, or you just won't understand the enormity of Lilia's gifts. I love how her parents stay solid in her and their lives, but also show their humanity by changing their judgments when needed. Lilia's character becomes much deeper and more real than ever. Whereas the first book bounced back and forth among the lives of Lilia's loved ones, the loved ones stay somewhat stagnant in this piece, causing the reader to follow Lilia's story closer and with more interest. It also thoroughly showed the hardships of the talented and successful. Theirs is not a perfect life. It's very easy to empathize with Lilia, and every mishap teaches an important lesson about life, from a Christian-in-the-real-world perspective.

I can't wait to read the third book that just came out!

home

2010-06-14T05:22:00.000-07:00

This has a double meaning. One, we are back in Afton, back on schedule, back to my garden, back by ourselves, catching our breath after so many people and events of last week in Eau Claire. Phew! It's nice to have a break from all that. Two, last week was home. A whole family home from far off places and separate lives. Sharing the joy of memories growing up in that house, sculpting the property, building relationships. None of us knows how long we'll have our special getaway-gathering place. But we love it there.

So today, in my mixed feelings of sentiment and solitude, I'll return to my garden. To get a wonderfully detailed narrative of the week and many more pictures taken by Collin & Kara, check out Kara's blog, http://karassoapbox.blogspot.com/. Blogposts Wisconsin Adventures Day 1-7 go through all the fun. Below are a few pictures Dan & I captured.

A picnic lunch at Owen park with the whole family

Lindsey's awesome and cute new car

Mom was an honorary Hobbs the whole visit, and joined in all the fun.

Emma sharing "Maya's" (mom's) giraffes. She was in love.

The ever present princess dress. There was scarcely a moment Ellie had that off.

The 2010 Hobbs Strawberry Festival =)

Trademark strawberry stains on the knees. Who hasn't had that as a kid?

On Friday, Forrest, Dan & Collin went canoeing for Hemlock hunting and male bonding. They had fun.

Dan following the Canada geese.

Dan's super cool picturesque shot of canoe in the trees.

Home-ho! The guys were starved when they got back, and we all feasted to a grilled dinner, along with strawberry cake, strawberry-rhubarb crisp, and chocolate-covered strawberries for dessert! (hehe)

Sunday lunch with the remaining Hobbs and the Adams

Eddy said, "I'll pay it for you!" and helped the wait staff charge the card.

family time!

2010-06-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

Gramma Cathy and her dog Casey drove in while we were in Afton. A couple days later the cousins Emma and Elie got picked up. Maya arrived in her truck on Saturday, and we drove down to Eau Claire. A great weekend followed. Monday Uncle Collin, Aunty Kara and baby Annie drove up. And we picked Bappa up from the airport on Tuesday. Today Aunty Lindsey is coming back with the girls and the days are filled with berry picking, walks in the gusts and sunshine, and picnics by the river!

There is never a lack of conversation in the house this week. Always people cooking together, playing with each other's children, doing projects outside, meeting and greeting. And right now the nature around us is like a scene from a painting...or a dream...and it smells delicious.

There is so much to do and so many people doing it, I feel guilty turning on my computer. But, here I am.

Family together. It's better than camp. And I'll soak it all in while it lasts.

to the garden again

2010-06-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

After the funeral there's a lot to think about, and my garden continues to be the thinking ground. Most of my plants are happily getting bigger, but a new crop of weeds has blanketed the ground around them, and to those I have been attending. Today I spent a long while picking out the tiny seedlings of purslain, grasses, trees, and, of course, Eddy's own little corn patch in between my herbs!

The most exciting development about my garden are the potato plants finally popping through the ground. On to more weeding, thinking, praying, even more weeding, transplanting, watering, and then...hopefully...a harvest.

Kyle

2010-05-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

A week after returning home from Mayo Clinic and from oh so many cancer treatments we'd never have dreamed of when they got married. Ten months after hundreds of friends and family started praying for him. One year after he married the love of his life. God has chosen to take my good friend Kyle home. I don't understand why. I can't believe it's true. I feel the pain of my very close friend Abi, his wife, in her devastation.

I'd like to share his obituary with you.

Kyle David Christian, age 28, entered fully into the presence of his Lord and Savior Wednesday, May 26, 2010 following a ten month battle with leukemia.

He was born April 10, 1982, in Grantsburg, Wisconsin to David & Carolyn (Foote) Christian. He is a 2000 graduate of Memorial High School, and a 2006 graduate of UW-Eau Claire. He was an active member of Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, where he met his future wife.

He and Abigail Zimmer married on May 2, 2009 at Christ Church Cathedral in Eau Claire, WI, before moving to Madison, WI.

Kyle delighted in anything to do with guitars, delta blues/soul/rock’n’roll music, motorcycles, nature and woodworking/carpentry. Kyle was a disciple of Jesus Christ and lived life filled with the Holy Spirit of God. He was known for his kindness, gentleness, humility, purity of heart and for bringing great joy to everyone around him. He treasured the truth in Colossians 3:14, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”

He loved and was loved by a wide circle of friends and family, but none more so than his wife, Abigail Christian of Madison, WI, who survives him. He is also survived by his parents, David & Carolyn Christian of Eau Claire, WI; his grandparents Walter & Joyce Christian of Grantsburg, WI; his grandfather Billy Foote of Webster, WI; grandmother Charlene Brovold of Alma, WI; his friend and brother Adam (Mary) Christian of Eau Claire, WI; his sister Stephanie Christian of Madison, WI and her fiancé Daniel Cranney; and many aunts, uncles, and cousins.

He was preceded in death by his grandmother Alyce Foote of Webster, WI.

A celebration of Kyle’s life will be held on Tuesday, June 1, 2010, at 4pm at Jacob’s Well Church with Paul Berthiaume officiating. Private interment will be in the Forest Hill Cemetery.

Friends may call from 5 -8 p.m. on Monday at Jacob’s Well Church in Eau Claire. In lieu of flowers, donations to International Justice Mission (http://www.ijm.org/) are requested in consideration of Kyle’s great respect for the dignity of others and his passion to “loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke” (Isaiah 58).

musical resolution

2010-05-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes emotional stress gets you down. For some reason the Lord has chosen to surround me with deaths and grieving loved ones the last couple months, with financial complications to sort out, or relationships, or schedules to wade through, or occupational replacements to find, etc.

Two full days of dealing with such things left me in a haze. No energy to feel, but about to burst with all the anxiety and questions and frustrations and fears inside. Going on with life and schedule only deterred the problem.

I came to Eau Claire. After trying phone calls and hugs and nature, I spied my beloved piano...waiting for me.

The radio got switched off as I nervously approached the instrument with forgetful and out-of-shape hands. Musical score was not enough. I have nor can play no song as intense and complex as I felt today. It would have to be something new. I warmed up with a favorite scale: G flat major. And beginning with G flat, I played a small slow melody, a tiny emerging thought amid the silence of aloneness, that quietly faded back into the silence. Another thought emerged, and another, until too many memories and aches were crowding each other out with austere, depressing chords and rhythms of frantic searching. A breath of calm, stolen away by new thoughts and desires, dashed hopes of the future, and screams of anger. A spinning blind searching of what to do, with no clear answers. A good memory or practical thought is spelled out deliberately to combat this despair, but only turn sour and bring back the storm. Between each thought, each cry, each flood of emotion, silence reigns, tormenting the soul. Finally, exhausted, regret and anger submit to calm and life. God shows up. In a version of Amazing Grace, he stills the storm and brings to light his promises, his gifts, and what really matters. A true sigh of relief follows, then stillness, this time not of torment but of peace.

Never again to be played or recorded, my one-time song expressed and unwound my knotted thoughts and emotions. Still raw and tired, I know now how to resolve. I heard and perceived the heart of the problem and its answer for today, as I talked it out, in my heart language of wordless music.

Where your ear leads you, speak in that medium. Perhaps your confusion lies in using a foreign tongue.

toddler theatre

2010-05-28T07:46:00.000-07:00

I've been told Eddy is exceptionally good at language for his age. But lately that skill seems to be combining with a childish creativity into a bit of a phenomenon. Most kids his age like to pretend to be animals and such and talk for their toys, as Eddy does. But now he's becoming quite a storyteller, taking topics of the day and dramatizing them into adventure stories acted out entirely by him (complete with bad guy voices, damsel in distress voices, gramma voices, etc.). He even comes up with characters I've never heard of, as in his "Michael and Daddy" series this morning (he was pretending to read these stories out of my Bible).

I don't know if this signals an adulthood bent or if it's a phase unique to this time in our family life. But either way, it's fun. Feel free to come by and experience the Eddy Hobbs Toddler Theatre soon!

Theatrical

Commercial

Eddy's smile

2010-05-26T20:52:00.000-07:00

Eddy has a very cute smile. His eyes start to sparkle and he shows all those little kid teeth, pushing his chubby cheeks out into soft red apples, and batting his long lashes when he's tickled. His curls frame all of that perfectly. As he grows, he's losing some of his baby face, but gaining so much dimension, purpose, and meaning behind those deep eyes. His smile keeps me coming back for more...more playtime, more tickles, more surprises, more fun. I love making him happy, making him smile.

Today as he sat in a time-out in the grass in our garden, Eddy asked me something. I was explaining how he needed to obey mommy, and he asked very calmly and sincerely, "Why?" Hmmm... That one is hard to unravel in the abstract for a two-year-old. I tried to make it simple. It makes God happy when you obey. It makes mommy and daddy happy. It makes you happy. He questioned the last part, understandably so. Obviously the reason he was being punished was because mommy told him to do something that didn't make him happy. But I planted a seed of understanding. I want him to be happy. And I will see so much more of that happy smile if he learns how to cooperate. I love seeing that smile.

Afton May Fair!

2010-05-23T19:06:00.000-07:00

"A 2-Day outdoor fine arts and traditional crafts fair in a picturesque setting on the St. Croix River Valley

Fine Arts - Crafts - Live Music - Great Food - Family Fun"

The Afton May fair was all that and more for my little family, as it was our first introduction to our new residence of Afton, Wisconsin, a tiny but well-known town nestled next to several other little towns along this side of the St. Croix River. But far more than the other towns it touches, this place is packed with history and community involvement. And for the size, it has the highest quality businesses, parks, tourism, historical society, and beauty I've ever seen. And I've heard others say it has one of the biggest July 4th celebrations in Eastern Minnesota!

Eddy and I caught both days. After having a blast Saturday, we just had to drag "daddy" along to experience it too (and get some good pictures). Dan wouldn't get in until mid-afternoon, so little guy and I grabbed some breakfast at a cafe and strolled a little, checked out a little church in the area, went home, then before Dan got there, we hooked up the bike and rode on into the fair. After the rendezvous, we did all the fair things and strolled the town, commenting on each storefront. Later we just sat at the end of a dock and cooled off from the scorching humidity 100 yards away. (I can't tell you how long it's been since the three of us just sat outside for any reason)

God has blessed us in our Craig's List home. The right set-up, size, spot, neighbors, and now the right town. What more could we ask for.

Eddy shot to this booth every time we got within a stone's throw.

The Happ-E Hill Farm Kiddie Train -- some happy-go-lucky farmer built this and zigzagged kids all over the fair.

Smellin' the lilacs

Afton Historical Society Press, Publisher and Bookseller, Regional Books for the Discriminating Reader

A great conversation piece with Eddy also: the balloon basket he so wanted to try!

Guess where that came from.

cloudy

2010-05-22T07:19:00.000-07:00

A week of hot and sunny makes one appreciate a cool cloudy day. Plus the scattered showers throughout the day made everything outside wet and soggy. I took advantage of this to do some house cleaning, remove the weeds and straw from the blackberries and go on a shopping spree with Eddy. We got mower parts for Daddy, office supplies, and a whole new wardrobe from Goodwill for Eddy. And, of course, we got to share Sam's Club pizza and an Arby's chocolate shake as a reward.

sleep

2010-05-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

"Sweet is the sleep of a laborer, whether he eats little or much, but the full stomach of the rich will not let him sleep." -Ecclesiastes 5:12

Nope, sleep has not been an issue this week. My muscles, however, are another matter.

greenery

2010-05-19T14:46:00.000-07:00

I love this time of year -- not as pretty as early spring, but so much more inviting. For one, it's warmer outside than in. This for the first time in 8 months! It's also planting season here. The greenhouses and weathermen have finally given the general public the OK to plant without danger of frost. To me, that translates to dirt and shovels and rakes and watering cans and hoses and string and steaks and corn seeds and potato seeds and onion seeds and dirt mounds and trenches and weed pulling and transplanting and ROTOTILLING (which has the added benefit of seriously getting me in shape for summer). It is quite hot and sunny for that kind of work, but a good sun hat, a water bottle, cool grass and occasional breaks make it doable and, of course, very satisfying. I stand and gaze at my handiwork and take in the joy of hard work and thoroughness. Can't wait to reap!

Outside of the garden are all the effects of others' hard work and God's natural gifts. Flower beds, shrubbery, lilacs, towering Elms, fields of grass, wildflowers and fruit trees fill my senses with the life of late spring. It is more exciting than I can say to discover every week new and fantastic plants and flowers in our Afton house. Our landlords have good taste! They also had experience gardening. I have every tool at my fingertips =) But I will never tire of being at the Hobbs' Eau Claire farm. The aroma itself carries a thousand thousand memories and impressions of the past. It has been said that music and smells are windows into the memory, and this is no exception. Walking through the tall cleared woods along the driveway and smelling the warm polleny air with the cool breeze blown in from the neighbor's pond, I am transported to times and activities and friends and ages long gone. Every old car comes into view, every paint ball game, volleyball game, sword fight, swim. Visions of gardening, feeding ducks and chickens and cats and dogs, the old barn long since torn down, the willow that never really did perk up, the huge novel gardens, the creek, the outdoor shower, and of course, where the tent was set up...

And wherever I am, there seems a familiar smell of the season that to me seems to match the shiny mature leaves in the sunlight and the expiring blossoms. Perhaps it's a plant or several plants home to this region. But to me it's simply my own history. My past, my present, my future. The people I know and knew. Experience gained and gaining. Growth. Have a great day in the sun!

quiet rainy day work

2010-05-12T08:41:00.000-07:00

This week has been very cold and rainy. Though this makes it hard on our business because weed killer doesn't work in the cold, it does provide a nice environment for finances. This is the last day Eddy will spend time at the babysitter's, so I am tucked in my little corner of kitchen, at my beautifully large desk, surrounded by papers and speakers and windows, typing transactions (and this blog, of course).

Cold dark weather also freezes the flow of phone calls, freeing up the sound pool for other, more delightful waves. Pandora has been my companion this week. It has changed along with my moods from techno to progressive electrica house to kids radio to exotica/lounge to newsboys to motown. Then there's my own personal reflective mix which I like to call, Rainyday radio. And when I get tired of music, there's always Adventures in Odyssey!

The pleasures of solitude, quiet, numbers, and organization combine in my final real day of work this spring. After this my office will fit into the margins of my life, squeezed around cleaning and gardening and helping Eddy and bikerides to the park and cooking and travel. So I will cherish these moments and cherish the change to come.

We sow and reap alike

2010-05-10T09:20:00.000-07:00

This has been my thought for the weekend. We sow and reap alike.

On Friday my little sister graduated from college. I'm so proud of her! But it got me thinking on my school situation. Twenty-four years old and only 40 credits to my name. Of course, thoughts like this lead to daydreams of diplomas and accomplishments, of research and travel and music and languages. "If I could just work harder..." but is that really true?

Most things worth having do require hard work, but hard work doesn't get you everything you want. You reap what you sow. If I sow cantaloupe and carrots in my little seed patch for my garden (which I have), I will reap cantaloupe and carrots later on. No matter how much I dream about watermelon, and strive to do a good job gardening so I can have a juicy slice of watermelon, it will never come out of cantaloupe and carrot seeds. Those seeds are absolutely useless for that. But they are incredibly useful for cantaloupe and carrots.

In the same way, no matter how well I raise my son, it will never get me a bachelor's degree. It is useless for that. To dream of academic accomplishments and work harder at home, will only lead to disappointment, for I'm looking for the fruit of something I never planted, and missing the fruit of what I did -- a grown son. And no matter how much I study for a test, it could never get me a family. My sister traded an early marriage for an early degree. A choice I very much respect in her, but still, she is not married. Loving and training children reaps loving and trained adults. Studying and taking classes reaps knowledge and degrees.

How something is sown also determines how something is reaped. Planting cantaloupe and carrots in mediocre soil, and haphazardly watering them (which I have) produces a few bedraggled plants (which I have). But devoting time and money to the meticulous care of your garden produces bumper crops (which I've experienced in the past), crowding each other out like a chia pet. Likewise, if I daydream of books and music all day and spend no time with my son, I will only reap an unhealthy son with a bad attitude. I need to consider the harvest. You only reap what you sow, and you only reap as well as you sow.

It is the same with food. This is a subject I've always tried to avoid in the past, but it is true. No matter how much you promote and talk about carrots, or how many you have in your refrigerator, if you are sitting here reading this next to a bag of marshmallows, you will never reap the benefits of carrots. You will reap the sugar high and low, lack of energy, depression, and eventual chronic disease from malnutrition that marshmallows reap...not to mention unwanted weight. However, if you just stop eating those right now and use your hands to pick up a carrot, put it in your mouth, chew, and swallow, you will receive the nourishment carrots offer.

This weekend my sister graduated, a friend just found out she's having her first child, another friend just had an adorable baby boy, I sang at church, watched Eddy, and ate a lot of junk food because of busy schedule, moods, and the holiday. This morning I reaped more musical experience, a son who survived, and extreme weariness and downcast eyes. I decided pretending isn't worth it. Consider the harvest you desire, and actually plant and tend to the seeds that will bring that harvest. Don't daydream of some other harvest. Accept or make the one you want. Eating candy to make you feel better won't. Eating vegetables will. Just do it. If you want to finish school, pick up your textbook right now. If you want a happy child, get up and walk to the park with him right now. You will reap what you sow, and only as well as you sow it.

to sing & dance!

2010-05-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

to sing and dance ... to step to the beat ... to bend and groove ... get the heart goin'... to lift your mood ... to smile a bit ... to close your eyes, tilt back your head, and breathe! Jump and spin! Run around! Find a partner! Pull them in! to get lost in rhythm ... to relish a melody ... savor the feeling...of singing aloud. to listen and sway ... to harmonize ... to recognize beauty ... to remember the Lover ... to forget all troubles ... to cherish His goodness ... to lose track of time ...

May 3rd

2010-05-04T06:56:00.000-07:00

May 3rd is a very special anniversary for Daniel and me. It's not our wedding anniversary, not our engagement, not our first date (well, not officially), and not the day we met. It's the day we decided there was something there.

I love May 3rd because it's filled with memories of long conversations all day long in the park, of hope for the future and new love. May 3rd was determination to do right, and the reward for seeing goals through. May 3rd was happiness together. Another special thing about that day was it wasn't a one-time event. There are at least 3 successive years that May 3rd was significant and unique in the life of our relationship. May 3rd, 2003, when we decided there was something between us more than friendship, and the decision that a relationship would be beneficial...when we got a little older. May 3rd, 2004, the culmination of a year of keeping unbelievable boundaries, in order to learn from life and seek guidance. This one didn't end in a full-blown dating relationship, but was incredibly romantic and fun, as we talked of the future, and enjoyed each other's company for the first time in a year. May 3rd, 2005, finally, we have been dating, and experience for the first time an anniversary together, as well as make other momentous decisions about each of our lives. And I hold each May 3rd since in my memory, for each has been in very different circumstances, with very different flavors.

As you know, yesterday was May 3rd, 2010. It was probably the busiest May 3rd we've had. Dan was on a very long and hard route, I was pummeled with calls in the office, Eddy was at the babysitter's, we were catching up on work, etc. And for the first time in our history, Daniel has remembered the date before I did! I tried to make up for the fact by cleaning and cooking a nice dinner to be ready when he got home, but I'm afraid he bested me. My dirty, starving, overworked, under rested, bedraggled Danny came through the door at the end of the day carrying a large pot filled with blooming violet/white Phalaenopsis orchids, and swept me away.

Not the most eventful May 3rd, but definitely a sweet one.

dinner for volunteers

2010-05-01T20:06:00.000-07:00

Dinner for volunteers. My church started doing this. We have a Satur-evening service. The Sunday school workers don't come. Food makes them come. The dinners are good. They have dessert, too. It helps me and Eddy. I say I'll fill in. No time to make food. We eat after church. We talk to church friends. It's a good time. Here's to the effort: dinner for volunteers! Hooray for you; hooray for my church. Hooray for the kids who fill it.

finding my keys

2010-04-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

I lose things way too easily! I lose everything from clothing to money, food, receipts, appliances...anything mobile really.

A couple weeks ago I went to a grill out / campfire party at Julie's house and lost the keys to my car. It got dark long before we left, so several friends and I had to search through the grass with flashlights under logs, around the fire, under blankets, chairs, the hammock, in the house, in the windows of the locked car, and everywhere else we could think of. In desperation I called Dan, and got the spare key! Hooray! I could go home. I looked everywhere in the car, thinking I'd locked the key in. Nope. Julie agreed to keep her eye out for it when daylight came, so Eddy & I went home.

The day past, the weekend past, but no key. I asked Julie every time I saw her, with no avail. I kept an eagle's eye on the spare key, which I took to Afton that week and the next and now used as the main key. Without key chain or unlock button to aid me in hauling Eddy, I became even more frustrated with my carelessness. Were the keys lost forever? No one at the party seemed the type to steal something to be mean, but could they have taken them by mistake? I checked Eddy's diaper bag, my purse and the car over and over, still with no success.

I finally gave up. When preparing to come back to Eau Claire this weekend, I decided to go the extra mile and clean out Eddy's old water bottle--long residing in his diaper bag side pocket--so he could use it again. As I lifted it from its spot I breathed a sigh of consternation and relief, and ran to show Dan...what else? The keys! I had put them in a safe spot to begin with. They were never out of my reach, and never locked in the car. It is so refreshing to have a spare again for emergencies, and to pop Eddy in and out safely and keep the car locked. Now, if only I could find my hat...

SPIDERS!

2010-04-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

Who of you are freaked out, grossed out, or scared to death of spiders? I have always been! But somehow a change came over me a couple days ago, when I spotted a little, fairly short-legged spider struggling to crawl out of our bathroom sink. It was small enough that I couldn't focus on the detail too well (probably to my benefit, for if I had, I probably would have freaked out), but I was fascinated by the unassuming shape and innumerable tiny black and brown stripes on his legs (crosswise). I asked Charlie, our employee and resident PhD to look at it, but his aging eyes failed him and he had no information to offer, so I delved into my copy of the National Audubon Society Field Guide to North American Insects & Spiders, but with no exact matches with the photos. Charlie encouraged me by saying it could be a young spider, and may look differently than those fully grown. I read a few descriptions and surmised it could be a close relative to a burrowing wolf spider, but they prefer sandy areas, and our property has rich soil. All that was left to do was quickly sketch it and record the circumstance in my notebook, in hopes I ran across more information soon.

Across more info I certainly came! Today I was tasked to pull weeds out of the blackberry beds in the large greenhouse on our property. Between the rows are walking paths of wood chips, and covering the beds themselves right now is straw, to keep the plants from thawing too early in spring. I didn't start weeding until close to dusk, but as soon as I started walking on the chips and pulling out weeds, little black-brown spiders scurried away from me in all directions! There were so many, but too fast to get a look at! I ran back and grabbed my camera to try to get a shot in the failing light of evening. In addition to pictures, I studied the little guys (and girls). I noticed all sorts of things about them. I saw a great number of them, which made me familiar with their similarities and slight differences in young vs. old and male vs. female. I found no webs, no spiders climbing, but always scurrying away to hide in the ground. In one area I found a small white sac under some straw, broken open, with a few tiny eggs left inside. As it got dark, I became discouraged by my camera's abilities. Then I turned over an old dry leaf and on the underside found the biggest, most ornately designed spider of the breed who had just secured prey! Now I had tons of information to crosscheck with the spiders in my field guide.

I came back in and went to work. I started with the burrowing wolf spider, but, once again, no sand. Plus, after seeing so many of the spiders, I clearly saw the difference in appearance. So I scanned the other similar spiders...maybe another wolf spider or garden spider...oh! That's it! Lycosa gulosa -- the Forest Wolf Spider! The picture matched the shape and size perfectly, and after seeing different varieties, I saw the color resemblence, too. And check out the specs:

Size: 3/8-1/5"
Color: "Dark brown with grayish-yellow middorsal stripe on cephalothorax and narrow grayish-yellow strip on each side."
Habitat: "Woods, among litter"
Range: "Maine to Georgia, west to Utah, north to southern Manitoba.
Food: small insects"
Life Cycle: "Female drags eggs in a spherical sac until they hatch..."

"This spider hides among litter by day, hunts at night. It makes no nest or silken shelter, although it secures a dragline before leaping upon potential prey. The light of a flashlight is reflected from its silvery eyes, making this wolf spider easy to find at night."

How perfect of a match is that?! No webs, spherical sac, lives under loose ground coverings, the grayish yellow stripe, even the shiny eyes matched my pictures! How thankful I was after reading that, that I got to see these guys at night. What was my consternation became my pride, for it proved the shiny eyes and I got to see one hunt. Below are my pictures (for those of you who are not arachnaphobic).

a message, a phone call

2010-04-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows my family's business knows that we are busy this time of year. The stress over the last month has taken its toll on me, my husband, and my son, exhausting our strength physically, mentally, and emotionally. Our relationships have become more distant and more difficult. It was in this vein that Eddy and I went to church on Sunday morning. Daniel was way behind in his work for the week, and had to miss church to finish treating a cemetery in Eau Claire.

I checked Eddy in to Sunday school and wandered back through the halls, scanning the crowds for someone I knew. I spotted a couple familiar faces, all engaged in deep conversations already. 'I guess I'll just find a seat.' Meandering slowly across the foyer, through an auditorium door, down an aisle, I noticed the second row in the center. Empty. Perfect. There was a pit in my stomach as I sat down. Soon others sat around me. Oh, well. The music started. In turn, I joined in singing, greeted strangers around me, prayed aloud and silently, and sat to hear announcements, then the pastor's message. It was good. It seemed important. But it wouldn't sink in. I couldn't make myself believe it in my heart, though I wanted to. Halfway through the message, it began to compute -- living a life bigger than myself, not hoarding things I desire, but focusing on God, and thereby receiving all the blessings he would like to show me. I thought of beautiful nature, of relationships, of new friends, of my church, of my nice house, my family, our business successes, of the cross, and other things. But it didn't make me feel better. I didn't feel blessed. I felt confused, foggy, alone, weak. At the closing music I was lost in my thoughts and out of touch with those around me. I caught myself missing the offering bag completely, as the usher had to reach around me to hand it to another person, oops. I closed my eyes. The service ended.

I sat contemplating. I waited for my Bible study leader to finish a conversation before she could talk to me about a group walk we had scheduled. Looking around the emptying room I spotted a friend. She looked sad. She walked toward me. She was looking for a pastor to talk to. She told me her troubles, her desires, her life situation. I told her mine. For her this was an important week. For me it was, too. We were at a loss for what to do, feeling the same, but under very different burdens. A hug, a Scripture, questions, and suggestions finished our conversation. We exchanged numbers and went to speak with our respective respected teachers.

We agreed to speak on the phone every day this week. On Monday the first call time arrived. We shared the help we received from our leaders. We rejoiced in it, and prayed together. Tuesday we shared our encouragements and insights, our struggles and prayer requests. Wednesday we were both in a fog, and prayed to God, praising him for his goodness, and reminding each other of his love. Thursday's call is fast approaching. I wait for my few minutes with my friend, my connection with Eau Claire, my call to live the bigger life, to be a help and ask for help...to live beyond myself.

A book by Aunt Peggy

2010-04-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

I recently read one of my Aunt Peggy's books. She is a confident and very creative author, and I am an English nerd and literary critic. This made for an interesting relationship. The story is about a girl named Lilia who lives on a farm in Hawaii with her family. For the most part it is a wonderfully flowing story of the transition from kid to teenager, as well as learning to live life for God. But my critic tendencies came swirling through my head as I started getting into the story. I thought the character development was thorough, and the perspective from which the story was told switching between characters was fun. It was funny to notice how some of the characters and events were inspired by my aunt's life and relationships.

However I got a little caught up on how "Utopian" the setting was. It didn't seem possible that a family could be that Christian, and get a long that often, that the girl should be good at so much, get so much attention, live in such a beautiful place and have so few financial problems. But then I got to thinking again. Aunt Peggy was good at all those things as a child, and lived on a farm; she's had experience being a Christian who also doesn't have too many financial worries, has created a loving Christian home, and has been to and knows people in Hawaii. This thought led to other friendships I've had with Christian families of all walks of life who also do work everything out as a family and adore each other. So, I'm not certain, but perhaps I should retract that critique and simply conclude that the story is about someone other than me. Just because those were not my experiences, doesn't mean they're not possible, and doesn't mean the average reader will not be able to identify with the characters. In truth, toward the end of the book, the characters and situations do become more and more complex, and conquer great hardships. Read as a whole, this book can stir the heart and you can empathize with everything in it.

The other thing the critic inside of me jumped on was the dialog. This is a very difficult area to master. There's a balance between clarity of who's speaking and natural flow. As I was reading, I saw many hiccups in the flow as well as a few ambiguous speakers. However, when I spoke to others I knew had read it, none of them mentioned that as a problem. So once again, I got to thinking it over, and I remembered that this book is targeted to 11-13 year-olds. The books I read at that age had dialog much like this book's. A girl that age doesn't worry about those technicalities, and this book does not cater to the 24-year-old English nerd and critic, which is good. That would be something with which a young teenage girl would not be able to identify.

All in all, a fun story, with unexpected twists and turns, and a very very solid Christian focus. It shows the reader an example of how your family could live life focused on God -- in an exciting and colorful way.

trust

2010-04-21T14:42:00.000-07:00

I started this blog to catalog my positive experiences and perspectives in order to gain a more positive attitude toward life. Unfortunately right now my mind is too clouded with so many baffling circumstances to tune in to the beauty I'm sure is around me, so all I can say to the positive is this:

When nothing else makes sense, find hope in the trustworthiness of God.

loved ones

2010-04-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

Five of us from BioLawn (Dan the boss / Charlie the sales & tech / Gayle the secretary / Naomi the finacier / Eddy the mascot) drove to St. Paul Park for a visitation and memorial service today. It was packed. We were the only ones there who knew no one else there (except one of Ken's sons we'd met once and another ex-BioLawn employee who knew Ken came as well). Sisters and brothers and parents and aunts and uncles and cousins and college friends and rehab friends and childhood friends and all their spouses and children and friends were there. The service itself was all right. A few people stood and talked about their friendships with Ken (including our Charlie -- thank you). No family stood up. The sermon was good -- really close to being a good Christian message. A very good practical message to Ken's loved ones. We found out much deeper about Ken's addiction-riddled history while we were there. Apparently there are still hurt feelings. The deacon spoke on forgiveness. Jesus forgave quickly and readily. We should too. The rest of the service was lame but we got through it. The whole event was very awkward. But it was nice to see the crowds of people who loved Ken, and whom Ken loved -- his legacy, so to speak. They banded together and cried together (Ken's mother hugged and cried with Dan / Ken's sister hugged and told us Ken really really really loved us / Ken's aunt said what a drastic positive change Ken's life took when he started working for us and making "those new friends" who were only us). Apparently we didn't know the same Ken the rest of them knew -- the Ken with issues he could never seem to get over...until last year. But it was still good to see the dozens and dozens of people who knew the same guy we knew. Because he was the same guy -- just in different seasons of his life. We got to see him on the top (which makes Daniel OH so much sadder), happy, confident, gaining success in his relationships. But everyone saw his compassion, his love for children, especially his own, his humility, his openness, and his hard work ethic: things we cherished. This huge crowd of people love and miss him like we do. It was good to hug his sisters and get to know them a little bit. I wish we could've gone to the dinner afterward to be more relaxed with his family, but perhaps I'll stop by again in a couple days and see how they are doing. Ken is the invisible bond that brings all these people together in love and tears and hugs. Loved ones make it worth it.

But it was still an exhausting day.

life goes on.

2010-04-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

I've been hesitating to write anything here since the tragedy at work Monday. Covering up Ken's memory with other things really scared me...since that's all we still have of him. It's been a hard and strange week. Eddy has become so familiar with Dan's and my moods that every time he sees us sad, or crying, or quiet, he asks, "You sad 'cuz Ken went away?" I hope the funeral, this Monday, helps how we feel. At least we'll get to know Ken's family better, and hear some new things about him, and be allowed to converse openly about how we all miss him so much. Dan has had a worse time than I have, because he was so close to Ken, and especially because he had to finish Ken's route from Monday, he had to redistribute Ken's scheduled jobs, and he had to find (gulp) a replacement. Then he had to work an extra day to catch up on everything.

For me this week has been a stirring of emotions and thoughts. Disbelief, denial, anger, despair, confusion, and searching have all played their parts in the story of my thoughts, a story that has gradually changed through the hours. I sometimes fight recovery in fear of forgetting, but I know God is in the recovery, and I can trust him. I've come to some conclusions in my mind, which I hope to act upon: Though Ken's time is through, my life is still going, and to not continue in life would be to deny God's will for me. Everyone lives for a short time and dies; in the span of history it's not whether you died that shapes your story, but what you did while you lived. We could have our own memorial service to speak openly about our friend, draw our attention to our mortality, and to God. And we should take our employees up on their invitations to dinner and such -- something we should've done with Ken and his boys, then it wouldn't have been so awkward now.

Life...goes...on...and each day we change.

Kenny

2010-04-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

This note is in memory of our best employee and a very close friend: Kenny. Wow, it...feels strange writing this, considering we spoke to him this morning, and he was doing great. Kenny has always been a devoted worker and learner, so naturally he's gotten steadily better and better at his job since he started. He loved his job, and we loved having him. He always came into the office in the morning with a big smile and determination for excellence -- but never at the expense of sincerity, openness, and kindness to us as well. True kindness, politeness, genuine care, and gentleness. We could see he was a great dad (single dad) to his 3 teen age boys, who reflect his character. Even though Kenny had an incredibly difficult and regrettable history, somehow he never let it get to him. He dealt with things head on and kept moving forward. I am really going to miss him. Unbeknown to each other, Daniel and I spent much of this afternoon crying.

Kenny conquered so many things: alcoholism, drug addiction, bad relationships, single parent difficulties, poverty, depression... and things were looking up. His whole family testifies to "having him back" the last year and a half, and he was so happy to be "back"...back with his sons, with his siblings, with his ailing mother, with those he loved more than anyone else in the world. I remember the thing he loved doing most was spending time with his boys. He'd schedule work off or move extra fast to finish a route early so he could go to a son's game. He'd bring a son to work on a non-route day to see what dad did for a living and give 'em a taste of work. He was so proud of them...and they were proud of him, too.

By now I'm sure you're wondering what happened. Well, there's really not much to tell. Kenny was doing very well on his route today, amazing Dan with his speed and accuracy, as he had for the last week. In fact, Dan just gave him another raise a couple days ago for it. Right after lunch he fell over, someone called the police, who called our office. An ambulance rushed him to the hospital but he was unresponsive. They called us back to pronounce him officially gone. That was it, so strange, so sudden, so seemingly untimely. It doesn't sink in. My mind rejects the thought.

Tonight Dan, Eddy and I drove to Kenny's house to return his car. There were lots of family members there, all with tears in their eyes and all loving and comforting each other. They welcomed us warmly and reiterated over and over how much Ken loved his job, and how much he revived his life since he started working for us. We shared some things we loved about Kenny, and assured them we'd be happy to do anything for them, if they needed anything. We await the funeral. Even Eddy, as little as he comprehends the subject of death, was sad to hear that Kenny had gone away and wouldn't return. He loved Kenny as much as anyone did, and asked about him over and over on the way to his house. One of Ken's son's gave Eddy a little toy car and we wrote "Kenny" on the hood in memory.

I'm submitting a page from our company newsletter from last June. It includes an article about Kenny. Enjoy.

2010-04-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord! Praise the name of the Lord, give praise, O servants of the Lord,
who stand in the house of the Lord, in the courts of the house of our God!
Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good; sing to his name, for it is pleasant!
For the Lord has chosen Jacob for himself, Israel as his own possession.
For I know that the Lord is great, and that our Lord is above all gods.
Whatever the Lord pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps.
He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth, who makes lightnings for the rain and brings forth the wind from his storehouses.
He it was who struck down the firstborn of Egypt, both of man and of beast;
who in your midst, O Egypt, sent signs and wonders against Pharaoh and all his servants;
who struck down many nations and killed mighty kings;
Sihon, king of the Amorites, and Og, king of Bashan, and all the kingdoms of Canaan,
and gave their land as a heritage, a heritage to his people Israel.
Your name, O Lord, endures forever, your renown, O Lord, throughout all ages.
For the Lord will vindicate his people and have compassion on his servants.
The idols of the nations are silver and gold, the work of human hands.
They have mouths, but do not speak; they have eyes, but do not see;
they have ears, but do not hear, nor is there any breath in their mouths.
Those who make them become like them, so do all who trust in them!
O house of Israel, bless the Lord! O house of Aaron, bless the Lord!
O house of Levi, bless the Lord! You who fear the Lord, bless the Lord!
Blessed be the Lord from Zion, he who dwells in Jerusalem! Praise the Lord!

Psalm 135

seeing my brother

2010-04-09T20:34:00.001-07:00

Lukas and Suzy are off to Iowa. Dan, Eddy and I are off to Eau Claire, getting things in order and relaxing at the end of the week (though more work is to come). But my mind is aswirl with all that has happened the last 2 days. Thank you brother, for coming to see your far away sister and nephew! We had lots of fun. Thank you, sister-in-law, for adventuring and getting to know us better! We'll miss you both. Here's some special moments captured, compliments of Suzy's phone...

Read Lukas and Suzy's versions of the horseriding excursion to see just how much fun we had =)

http://www.lukasvandyke.com/?p=4259
http://suzal.com/?p=571

a new sister

2010-04-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

I have a new sister. Her name is Suzy. She's 23. My brother loves her a lot.

She's southern, you know, with reddish hair, freckles, and a big pretty smile. She likes writing stories and songs. She's sunshine when she walks in, playful with little boys, helpful with dinner, and caring. She uses funny southern words and makes funny southern faces...though she claims to be long removed from the south. Her family is different than ours. For one thing, they're southern. But there are others. Fun things to learn, funny stories to hear.

Suzy lives in a colorful house, in a warm state, with a very happy husband. She loves her black cat...and yellow...and high school ministry, with sleepovers! She has lots of pictures and a special piano. And entertains hundreds of guests in their little house with a pool. She thirsts after God.

My brother came to visit me. My new sister Suzy came too. We adventured. We drove. We strolled through Wisconsin, and cruised Minnesota. She'd never been. It was new. We had fun. My little Eddy loves Auntie "Suthy". They snuggle and play. My new sister taught me many new things...we conversed, debated, compared, related, bonded, shared, understood, and prayed. Our friendship grew.

I have a new sister. Her name is Suzy. I love her a lot.

brother Lukas and sister Suzy!

2010-04-08T08:44:00.000-07:00

The long awaited visit has commenced! Brother Lukas and relatively new sister-in-law Suzy arrived in their sporty rented car yesterday afternoon at 2:45 -- just in time to help pick up Eddy from the babysitter's. Hooray for sibling visits! We've filled our time well, thus far, with house tours, tire swing rides, stories, adventures, garden shopping, state hopping, cooking, picture editing, and movie-watching.

Today promises to be another memorable one. I'm getting all the business work done that I can while my distinguished guests catch up on much needed sleep in the bed & breakfast style room I prepared for them ;) Then it's back to adventures and memories together.

Pictures soon.

A Song of Ascents. Of David.

2010-04-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

Behold, how good and pleasant it is

when brothers dwell in unity!

It is like the precious oil on the head,

running down on the beard,

on the beard of Aaron,

running down on the collar of his robes!

It is like the dew of Hermon,

which falls on the mountains of Zion!

For there the Lord has commanded the blessing,

life forevermore.

Psalm 133

gardening

2010-04-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

I am a nature person. Strike that. I am a garden and greenhouse girl. I love love love working in the dirt and sun, smelling plants, hearing birds, and creating and pampering something into paradise. I'm AWFUL at houseplants. But give me a flowerbed and a hose, and I'm in heaven. Perhaps I will have my very own garden oasis some day, but for now I'll be happy with maintaining and hopefully transforming my landlady's already nicely prepared space. Let's see if I can raise her home value just a tiny bit by October (and get loads of flowers and veggies out of it for myself).

Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed...Okay, let's just say it. I was depressed. Overnight my life seemed to be crashing down on me, I was emotionally useless and couldn't snap out of it. Thanks to my caring (albeit sick and out of it) husband, it occurred to me to fiddle in the garden. "It's a large property. There's bound to be something more to do. Just look around." I did and there was. As when I was a teenager and went to work at a local greenhouse WHEN I was sick, TO feel better, so I felt today.

I gardened through Eddy's nap, and slowly, quietly, as I worked, I breathed. I thought calmly. I worked. I pulled every single microscopic weed there was in that bed. My heartbeat slowed. I came back in for Eddy and he joined me. Even in the stress of motherhood during a difficult day for Eddy too, I was rejuvenated. I had fun! We had fun. We even took a break to sit by a tree and watch our neighbor drive a tractor around and feed cows. Eddy appreciated that.

Give me more garden days this summer, and I will be happier.

cookie scooper

2010-04-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I borrowed this awesomely cool cookie dough scooper (kinda like one of those squeezable ice cream scoopers...only tiny) from a friend during my huge cookie project in February. It worked like a charm -- I just had to show Dan how cool it was. So, when we celebrated my birthday a few days later, what did Dan get me, but a cookie dough scooper! Boy, was I surprised!

Of course it was the wrong size and he got it way over in Minneapolis, so it took until last week to exchange it...which brings me to my story.

I just got a perfect cookie scooper from Dan AND made my first batch of chocolate chip cookies in our new house! I stayed up late into the night to make them. I was astonished -- we had every ingredient we needed at the house except white sugar and baking soda. Brown sugar substitutes well, but Eddy and I had a fun adventure asking one of our new neighbors for the baking soda, which they were happy to lend =)

It was a success. The best chocolate chip cookies we ever tasted. Check out the pictures. P.S. Please excuse the fuzzy phone pictures. I couldn't find the camera at the time.

Easter hope

2010-04-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

God became flesh and dwelt among us. He died, but rose and conquered death for us. We have hope. Hope of new life. Hope of life everlasting! Hope of a body restored and healed. Hope. True hope.

A declining cancer patient puts meaning to those words...though the tears still come...

Hope.

a good babysitter

2010-03-31T08:06:00.000-07:00

I found a good babysitter. What a relief that is! Eddy sat down and started playing with his new friends, the two daughters of his babysitter. He had to show them his cool car set. They loved it. I chatted with the mom for a few minutes, then said goodbye to Eddy and asked for a hug. He gave it gladly, then turned back to his toy and waved me off with a low mumbled "bye, mom." A normal family. A sigh of relief comes over me as I let go of the stress of finding someone. After much searching, prayer, references, and getting to know them, my work has paid off. I have someone to lean on.

In a new town with no connections, this is an amazing thing.

Learning

2010-03-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

I've grown an appreciation for learning these last few days.

Learning is an activity that is often unpleasant while you do it, but usually satisfying afterward...that is, as long as what you're learning turns out to be true. I've enjoyed watching each new thing that Eddy learns. He got frustrated so many times trying to ride his tricycle, but he finally got it. He can successfully pedal uphill and down outside, WHILE steering the handlebars! It satisfies him. It makes him happy.

I've been learning a lot of things myself as well. I've learned things about my friends, and about friendship. I've learned things about God. I've learned that life goes on even when you're sick (I'm still working on that one). And recently I watched a movie, Skokie, that taught me that principles aren't always clearcut. We each just need to think for ourselves. I've also learned that we don't know much about God. The more we think we have him figured out, the less we actually know about him. This is a great truth. I don't need to worry about becoming stagnant when I get old, after a lifetime of seeking God. He is bigger than that. There is always more to learn, infinitely more.

An older woman friend of mine said recently, "The woman I want to be is someone who never stops changing."

birthday parties

2010-03-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

Last night Dan, Eddy and I had the pleasure of going to a birthday party at Olive Garden for a friend. It was a jolly time of getting to know acquaintances, sharing love, laughing, and gobbling down food as fast as everyone could (especially bread sticks -- Benny currently holds the record on those with 9). The birthday girl was amazed that so many people would come to her birthday party, and we were honored to be of service =) We didn't know anyone too well, but mixing and making new connections was part of the fun. Plus, it was great letting Eddy meet more of the people we know (unlike Bible study, when he has to stay home with a babysitter). There are so many cool people all around us. Birthday parties are one way to get to know them...a yummy way =)

Our House in Afton

2010-03-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

Here's our house in Afton! We love it! Eddy, Mom, and I have already started off the spring outside getting our hands dirty. I plan to do a lot more. I'm so blessed to be able to live in so many cool houses. It sure makes it easy to move a lot when the new place is always so exciting!

A note about these pictures: Remember, it's early spring, and everything is going to get A LOT greener and prettier!

A Women's Retreat

2010-03-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

I mentioned before that I went to a small women's retreat last weekend. Now that I've recovered somewhat from the busy week, I'd like to reflect on it a little more.

Before last week I had never been to a women's retreat, and wasn't really sure what to expect. It was great. I didn't know many of the women there, but everyone bonded quickly, because the two days were filled with so much heartfelt Bible study, prayer for each other, impromptu singing, working and playing together, sleeping together, opening up, and heart and life changes. Every person there gave testimony of how deeply she was affected by our time. I'm tempted to lay out the entire retreat happenings here, but the simple truth is this: God was there, he gave the weekend power, and led it. So it wasn't anything in particular we did that made our weekend a success, we just basked in His love for us. God loves us! Demonstrated by his personal sacrifice for us, his plan for us, his word to us, and his comfort and leading within us. This was one common thread in each of our experiences.

Of course the weekend had a wonderful backdrop to make it especially lovely. It was located at a large, beautifully renovated and landscaped Victorian-style house on a large farm, complete with fields, trees, and horses. Linda, the host, is a professional cook, and lavished us with all sorts of gourmet delicacies. We also experienced the nearby small town of Sand Creek, which is very historic and friendly.

It was all around revolutionary. I encourage any of you women who are interested in energy, peace, and deep camaraderie, have a women's retreat! And center it on God. It's amazing how he shows his goodness to us, if we plan some time with him...

my business smart husband

2010-03-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

Every spring I am astounded at how smart Danny is at handling business. Even after assisting him for several years, I still can't think through things when and how he does...maybe that's because he keeps getting better! =)

I remember a few years ago, everything seemed to just fall into place for Dan, then the tides turned. Everything became a struggle, and we had to stretch our schedules, our minds, our hearts, our abilities, and our faith...especially Dan, of course, being the leader. He learned so much that year -- as much about God as about business.

We got through it and God began to bless us. Now I can see Dan's decisions working out and know it isn't luck. It's God, it's good business, it's a good husband. And I learn every day from his expertise.

Today I got to see our new property in Afton for the first time. It is beautiful, and perfect for our needs. And it has big gardens, flower beds, a tire swing, a patio, and a beautiful blackberry filled greenhouse! With all this outdoor work to do, I can tell I am going to have a GREAT summer.

Here's Eddy playing with our new tire swing at our new house!

I will post more house pictures as soon as I can.

REST

2010-03-22T06:59:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I had a long week. Studying and working cut off much of my sleep, then the events began. Thursday music practice, Friday getting the house clean and making food for my dad, husband and son, and off to Linda's for the retreat. Eddy attended the dinner, with us, then went back to my house with dad. Full, full full retreat! A long evening gathering, with much prayer, opening up and...tears, of course. And giggling long into the night. An early start Saturday with everyone helping to put a delicious breakfast together. Laughter, stories, and food filled up our free time so we went straight from that into study time. My study was first, which also went long. Then Aunt Jan's and off to lunch at the Sand Creek Cafe (a fine establishment and official hub of Sand Creek, WI, population roughly 100). I took a detour with Linda and Bernadette to the store, so when we got back everyone else was already out riding the horses. At this point my week hit me. I felt weak and headsick, so I skipped horse riding and sacked out with some music in the livingroom. But I was up again for the scavenger hunt, the final study time with Bernadette, and gift exchanges. Stories and talking started up again, but my church service was coming up fast, so I bowed out and headed to church. I met the team just in time to grab a bite to eat with them, get an update on any changes, pray, and go right on stage! As I sang I realized my head sickness had turned into a sore throat. I got home, talked to my dad, then my husband, and it turned into a late night. Sunday was another early morning for practice at church. I dragged myself out of bed later than I should, with no time for breakfast. Thank goodness for church babysitters! We all stocked up on donuts, I had a good warm up, and had a good service. But my throat was worse. During second service I broke down and had a cough drop. It made me feel SO much better...until I got on stage! Oh no! My voice broke, and squeeked, and failed. I made it through, greeted people I knew, got Eddy, and went home. Home, home, home. Eddy fell asleep in the car and I wanted to. We crashed at home and slept all afternoon. Then back up to help Dan wash his truck, I got Eddy ready to go to Bible Study, We dropped Dan's truck off at the mechanic, dropped Dan back home, and left for Bible Study -- LATE. We didn't have a chance to make dinner at home, so fast food on the road. I met the ladies with a toddler and a dinner, which complicated the meeting, but we made it through, with a visit from Dan halfway through, on his way to Minnesota. Home again, home again, jiggety jog. Finished our dinner, but no firewood, so we snuggled in blankets and ate while watching VeggieTales. SLEEP. We both slept like logs. The retreat was over, church was over, Bible study was over. Back to life.

Involvement

2010-03-19T09:05:00.000-07:00

It's hard being left out of something. But being accepted and allowed to participate in a common goal makes brighter eyes, lighter feet, and a happy heart.

I am involved in my husband Danny's business. It is a ton of work, but so rewarding! It's great to be able to know something about lawn care, help people who need it, and reap the benefits of a job well done. And there's nothing like the joy shared between Danny and me when things go well. Even when things aren't going well, it's so much easier to handle together, and easier for me to empathize with him when I'm involved.

I'm involved with music at church. Every time I'm asked to serve, I feel the tremendous privilege of being accepted by those talented musicians, and being allowed to contribute! I get to know them by name, talk casually about our lives, and gain a wealth of knowledge from them in the area of music.

I'm involved with a women's retreat this weekend. It's a little one, thrown by family, but exciting, nonetheless. I was asked to do a Bible study for it, to present as a workshop. I love studying, but it's hard to get the motivation sometimes, when it's just for yourself. But knowing I could share it with others helped me dive right in, and work on it night and day.

This has been a very busy week. Gearing up the business, practicing music, preparing for a retreat. My regular schedule has gone completely out the window! But it's a good busy. A happy involvement in people and things that I love.

spring

2010-03-13T11:13:00.000-08:00

It took about 1.5 days for Eau Claire to go from winter to spring. The world was white on Wednesday, and green by the end of Thursday. Now, all of a sudden, even our nights are above freezing! It is amazing to go out again without worrying about fingers and noses freezing off! I love spring!

Where I live, spring looks a lot like autumn: overcast, windy, mixed precipitation, bare trees and bare ground. The only difference is...mud puddles! Since the rain melts the snow, spring creates lots and lots of puddles =) Eddy & I decided to take advantage of the situation.

I tried to get a picture of us both jumping together...didn't work out too well. Just so you know, Eddy IS having fun here =)

Our yard speckled with diminishing patches of white...we're getting all we can out of this short season!

Here's Eddy when he gets to pet a kitty...

and Eddy when the kitty runs away. (his classic pout)

Enjoy March, everybody!

receiving...when you're there only to give

2010-03-12T06:40:00.000-08:00

I went to see a friend in the hospital yesterday. She was there for her husband, who's been battling Leukemia the last 8 months (they got married only 10 months ago). My visit was a rare and special one because the hospital is 100 miles away and Daniel needs our car a lot for business. But someone else needed me to drive their car down, Eddy had a birthday party to attend in that town, and we just happened to know a couple driving back to Eau Claire from there yesterday afternoon. All the pieces fell into place and I went down.

I didn't know what I would do or say, exactly, just that I should go. I hadn't heard much from her, and I wanted to give her strength, if I could, just by being there, doing the best I could to help carry the emotional burden, helping her open up. Letting her know I was praying...I don't know. I wanted to help somehow. Perhaps I did. But I know she helped me.

We sat in a window lined lobby as rain pelted down on the gray downtown streets outside. She was exhausted. Very little sleep, catching up with work, and trauma can do that to a person. We talked about all sorts of things, caught up, and discussed things on our minds. Sometimes we just sat there. I began to open up to some burdens on my mind, and when I did I was returned not with the expected nod or condolences, but cutting words of wisdom. Words of experience. Words of gold. She had seen the fire and realized God was still there. He didn't always make sense, but He doesn't have to. It helped that she has a "high ambiguity tolerance"--kinda straightens out my over-calculating tainted perfectionism =) Eventually we left, me to my schedule, she to her sleep. But as I darted through the chilly rain, my mind was full. I knew more how to pray for my friend, and I knew more how to live life. I felt at once shame, and gratitude, and sorrow, and purpose. My friend had given me perhaps more than I gave her.

This experience drives me to prayer, to guarding my thoughts, to selfless obedience. I can't explain it well, but I thank and pray for my dear friend.

change

2010-03-09T21:18:00.000-08:00

Blogs are really lame when they don't change. I'm sure you noticed that from this blog, the last week+. Even if a post is really cool (which I do not presume to say any of mine are), it loses all attraction if it doesn't soon precede a newer post. Even if the newer post is worse than the older, it is preferred, because we want and expect the blog to change. No change, no viewers.

Thank you for being so patient with me during my absence. It was a much needed time of re-prioritizing and changing of habits at home, and I think I used it well, for the most part. But I am happy to be back, expressing the joy of life...and of change.

Life is change. If there is no change, there is no life. Maybe that's why we want to see blogs changing so much--they're supposed to reflect life. Furthermore, if you can't see the joy in change, you soon won't see the joy in life. Get too caught up with one really cool post in life and you will miss out on the entire blog. On the other hand, see change as a good thing, and it'll be a lot easier to rejoice in life, in any situation. I'm learning that now.

So much is changing in my life. Where I live, what my job is, who my friends are, how I relate to people, what my goals are -- in my family, with friends, with church involvement, and with the future. In similar scenes and challenges, I find I have a new outlook than I did a year ago, 3 months ago, even a week ago. I've a new attitude on life, new experiences, new voices in my head, new solutions. This change presents me with brand new opportunities...opportunities to help someone in a new way, to use my added knowledge for more effectiveness, and to draw from experience to obey God quicker and more fully. The changes also help to keep life interesting. There is always some new thing to conquer.

In recognizing the blessing of change, I'm learning to enjoy my circumstances so much more, and agonize over the pain so much less. The pain will soon be over, so why worry? And the good will soon be over, so seize it while you can...but in doing so, don't forget that it, too, will go away, and that's a good thing.

Thank you, Lord, for change, for the end of this day, for sleep, and bright hope for tomorrow. Good night.

a week off

2010-02-28T21:06:00.000-08:00

I am taking a week off of blogging my life's happinesses to refocus on cleaning my house =) Don't be alarmed if my website stays the same until next week. That means I could be working instead of computering.

Thanks

after birthday perspective

2010-02-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

I had a mediocre birthday. And I didn't blog on my birthday. For a sometimes perfectionist, that drives me crazy after the big deal I made of it, but, what can I say? The day started in a not-so-good mood and then got better, but also busier. I had house to clean, Eddy to take care of, a baby shower to go to, then straight over to choir practice, a quick bite, the church service, out to dinner with my dad, and home to bed early for more choir in the morning. Blogging was not on the schedule.

Birthdays are a big deal to me. And in the past a day like my yesterday would've broken me down and taken a long time to recover from (aside from the great dinner with Dad and his wife Linda. Thanks, guys!). But even without too much glamor, one nice thing about my birthday this year was that I had a glimmer of maturity about it (wow, where did that come from?). I realized everything doesn't have to be about me (I'm still working on that lesson).

Lately I have been thinking about missions for my church and family and about a friend in the hospital. Friday was spent devoted to Eddy, Saturday I got to shower a friend-who's-expecting with gifts and hugs and catching up, then I got to help serve the church with sincere music to the Lord. Sunday had more of the music, plus hugs and prayers for a couple with a baby loved one in the hospital, a listening ear for a friend, and group acceptance and prayer for another struggling friend. And in thinking on others I found joy! Life is not about me. Besides, I got tons of good wishes from tons of friends and family, many of which I rarely hear from! How cool is that? So I decided I shouldn't weigh others down with silly daydreams that didn't come true, and instead I should love them.

A great after birthday perspective for the good and bad birthdays of life: Love your neighbor as yourself.

a home day

2010-02-26T19:19:00.000-08:00

My home day went great. I hauled wood onto the porch with a sled, cleaned the house, bathed, played with Eddy, read lots of books to him, Eddy helped me make pizza, we ate and watched tv together, listened to Odyssey on the radio together, and oh, the best part -- while Eddy napped, I organized! Am I the only one, or does everyone find organizing to be soothing and therapeutic? I didn't do everything I wanted to (kinda got carried away and ran out of time), but it was terrific while it lasted, and so satisfying afterward =)

Happiness is a home day.