Dan left yesterday for some very important meetings in the twin cities.  There has been a lot of exciting activity the last month and a half -- even without the holidays.  We've allowed ourselves to dream now, to make plans, to get our hopes up.  He has even started renting a room near Minneapolis to commute to & from Eau Claire and his family.  It's month-to-month, so it can be short-term.  If all goes as we hope, it will be.  Dan's meetings should be over Thursday -- our anniversary.  So, here I wait.

The last couple weeks I've been engrossed in one Harry Potter book, but at Dan's departure I felt the urgency to take a break.  These few days require a lot more prayer and reflection than I'd devoted time to before.

Life changing decisions are being made over there.  A world of opportunity, or not.  I tingle with excitement, while even now bracing for defeat.

It's a special time, this waiting...a sacred time.  The lingering dissident chord before resolution.  I'll think I'll go pray some more...

Looming weather forecasts all week, leading up to Eddy's anticipated weekend at Aunty Lindsey's.  We headed out a bit anxious of what was before us, but the storm held off long enough to get Eddy safely to Rochester, and the two of us safely to our farm home in Afton.  That night was calm, and lovely.  A long snowy walk in a field, talk of carols and sleighs and mice scampering by, a swing on the tire, a snow battle, and a warm fire inside.

The next day was a bit more threatening.  Snow and more snow, until we were worried about our planned drive to Eau Claire for a dinner party and serving at church in the morning.  A bit more time and our worries were put at rest.  No, the storm did not calm down: it got worse!  Our dinner party called to cancel on us, and church emailed throughout the evening to say, 1st) Saturday night service canceled, 2nd) Sunday morning services canceled, 3rd) Sunday night meeting canceled.  Off the hook there!  We had only to stay snuggled inside and wait for the sun.

On TV was only news and weather, and the very important rescheduling of the Vikings game on account of the weather.  A thousand stranded travelers slept at the airport that night.  Plows and trucks and cars lodged themselves into snow banks and ditches all across the state.  The hired plow guy (and every other plow) worked all night, even stopping at our driveway 3 times throughout the night.  But the morning sun brought the biggest surprise.

A veritable sea of white had swallowed the ground we once knew.  Swirls and tide pools and huge crested waves gleamed in the light.  Tables and stairs and benches and anything else outdoors seemed to be sinking.  It was beautiful, and shocking, and awe inspiring, and exciting -- especially when we saw on the news that it was the biggest snowfall around here on record.  When you yourself are safe and warm, you can't help but smile at being part of history like that.  I, personally, have been wanting a little more snow.  Well, I got it.

We surveyed the damage and work and heroic rescue scenes on our way back down to Rochester.  Many roads still harbored a thick layer of snow to be navigated.  Snow so often blew across the highways that there were often hidden ice tracks, from all the previous travelers.  Vehicles of every kind littered the sides of the roads.  We got to Lindsey's and the "snow mountain" the kids liked to slide on had tripled in size.  We greeted the family, gathered Eddy, and headed back toward Eau Claire.  We could only guess what would be in store for us there.

There were wheel tracks through a somewhat plowed end of the driveway, until we got to where it split between our neighbor's house and ours.  There we saw a wall.  The wind chill was so cold Dan didn't want me to even carry Eddy through the snow to our house.  We drove to the neighbors and he walked to find the tractor.  About an hour later he called us home, with only a very narrow tunnel to get the car through.  We got to the house and he stayed out half the night plowing, coming in to warm up, going back out.  The next morning saw him out again on the plow, and Eddy and me with our shovels doing the walks, and porches, and everything else covered in snow.

Now with extra winter insulation, cool snow walls around each path, and gigantic mountains, we can warm up and enjoy the bounty God has given us this year.  I'm pretty sure it will be a white Christmas.

Finally the sun came out and the air warmed up.  The breeze scattered colorful leaves across paths and in front of everyone's eyes who chose to notice.  Apparently most people missed the weather forecast, because Eddy and I were nearly the only ones out to enjoy the perfect day.  That made it all the more perfect.

I dusted off the long ignored but beloved bicycle and Eddy's trailer and gathered together so many miscellaneous items involved in a ride.  There sure is a lot to these things!  Helpful Eddy wandered around finding things for me, until he became Patient Eddy, as he sat in the trailer and watched me run in and out and around with all the other things I forgot.  Air pumped, adorned, packed and ready, we crunched our way to the road and whizzed out of sight...of home, that is.

Down a long easy hill to quaint Afton, then around in circles until we found the beginning of the St. Croix River Trail, a bike path we've admired since moving here.  It was prettier than we'd thought, weaving in and out of woods and over creeks.  Leaves beneath, all around, and hanging over us became that shadowy mysterious world we visit every now and again, when our mind allows us.  Eddy called it the "dark tunnel," and enjoyed it immensely.

We re-emerged in the sun and on to the bridge crossing the St. Croix.  Here came the most majestic part of our day.  Right along the edge of the bridge and moving at a leisurely, look-around-you pace, we were able to take in the fullness of our River.  All those sparkles, that span, the walls of multi-colored trees from where the tiny docks poked out.  It made me swoon.  I unwisely stopped on the highway bridge and took a picture. I couldn't help myself.

The cool bike trail switched back at the end of the bridge and curved right under the highway on the other bank, rejoined the road, and turned to head right into historic downtown Hudson.  After many more picture stops, lessons in patience for Eddy, and a giant hill, we made it to the store.  It severely lacks a bike rack, but otherwise our errand went well.

Across town, down the giant hill, through downtown, and we rejoined our new friend, the bike trail.  Under the highway, over good view bridge, past fields and through woodsy tunnels to a wooden playground we went.  It was the best place to go.  A sedentary Eddy turned active and a worn out mommy sat on a bench on the phone.  Then back up, up, up the Afton Blvd. hill until...after...what seems like...forever...we made it home.  Yay!

Never underestimate the power of outdoor exercise!  Thank the Lord and my husband for this stay-at-home mom life I lead.  It has its perks.

Late last night we experienced a really strong thunderstorm, lightening and thunder in loud, fast succession, pelting rain and hail, and tons of wind.

Eddy ran into our room and declared, "I'm scared."  At first we popped him in our bed until it quieted outside a little (about half an hour), and sent him back to his room.  Ten minutes later, back he came.  "It's scary."  We hugged him and sent him to bed.  Ten minutes later, pat pat pat.  Here he comes again.
     "I'm scared."
     "It'll be okay, sweetie."
     "Oh, I'll be fine."  And he turned around and went to bed =)

Soon after, it got really bad.  Dan went to check the weather, and to make sure his equipment and product were safe.  Eddy and I were going to snuggle in bed until four words from Dan popped me out of bed with Eddy and blanket in arm faster than you'd think is possible at that hour.  "Could be a tornado."  We decided to wait downstairs.

The thunder got louder.  The lightening got faster.  So fast, in fact, I had to shut my eyes from the strobe light effect.  Eddy was scared.  I held him on a cushy chair and tried to stay calm.  Dan didn't come in.  The storm was really loud.  I've never been in a tornado before.  He said it is extremely loud and comes without warning.  Will we have time to run outside to the cellar if it comes?  Will that put us in danger of this close lightening?  I couldn't take it any longer and popped out of the chair with Eddy.  I was ready to head out to the cellar when I looked through the door on the porch and spotted Dan, sitting at the computer.  I exhaled.  Finally.

Dan was examining the weather radar in expert fashion, having studied meteorology and practiced "reading the skies" sensibly for his business for years.  Boy, was I relieved.  He was safe.  He was right by us.  He wasn't worried.  Best yet, he wasn't doing anything drastic.  The storm must be okay.  We'll wait for a word from him.  I sank into the chair, this time with truly comforting words for Eddy, because I was comforted.

"It'll be okay.  Mommy's right here.  I've got you.  Daddy's right here.  He'll protect us.  God loves us, and he's bigger than any storm."  We sat peaceful and quiet until Dan came in.

Apparently there were tiny dots of storms speckled from the twin cities all the way down to Iowa.  The 5-mile speckle we were in was one of the worst, but it would soon pass.  No tornado warnings or watches.  No hail large enough to damage anything.  Back to bed we went.

Pat, pat pat, in our room came Eddy again.  Still too scary.  2:30am now.  Dan just wanted sleep.  Eddy wasn't going to leave, so I pulled him in bed.  Dan jumped right out and retreated to the guest room.

I figured Eddy would wonder why so I explained, "Daddy had to leave because he can't sleep when you wiggle so much."
     Eddy's head sprang up. "It's okay mommy.  It's not a problem."

He got sent back as soon as the thunder quieted.

Oh, and look at that!  Another one of our trees got split in half.  This one landed on our neighbor's cow pasture. No wonder that thunder was so loud.  It sure was close.

BEFORE

AFTER

I walked toward the greenhouse and spotted something brown in our field.  Could it be...turkeys?  Dan mentioned they liked to hang out there, but I'd never gotten close enough to get a good look.  I quickly and stelthily ran through the greenhouse ducking behind blackberry bushes and carefully poked out the other side with my camera.  There they were, eating away.  There were a dozen of them!  I'd never greeted wild turkeys from this close before.  I love the country.  Predictably they didn't like me, though.  All of them trotted off to keep a good distance away each time I advanced.  But they sure were pretty.  After I'd scared them enough for one day I ran back home and left them to their field.

Anyone for wild thanksgiving dinner?

I've been planning a special birthday date with Danny for months!  It was a lot of work to try to work out a babysitter and find good tickets for just the right show at this great restaurant and music club to which I had been introduced this spring.  I told Dan waaaaaay in advance to block off his calendar for his birthday, and, despite being really busy this week (and being in Eau Claire instead of Afton), he obliged, and drove all the way back for his birthday.

Dan arrived at the house and found Eddy and me running around the house trying to get everything together.  First we gave him some birthday hugs and kisses.  Then we rounded everything up and hit the road pretty quickly.  I was impressed.  Off to the babysitter!

Apparently babysitter Kristen didn't tell her little girls that their friend Eddy was coming, because they were quite shocked to see us walk in the door, after three months of absence!  They were very excited.  Eddy was excited, too.  He had been looking forward to seeing his friends for two whole days!  And he had birthday cookies all ready to share with them.

Off we sped in our gorgeous clothes, our cool sunglasses and our shiny fast sports car/Subaru down I-94 toward the city, opposite all the rush hour traffic.  We were happy, for a while, until we learned there was traffic in both directions.  Oh.  Good thing I planned lots of extra time to get there!  We had plenty of time to park, walk to the restaurant, find our seats, mull over the menu 20 times before deciding, and open presents before the show.

It was a great show.  I don't know if you've heard of the Gin Blossoms, but they were really popular in the 90's (I remembered several songs from the radio growing up) and have a new album out this year.  (I did plenty of checking on youtube before buying tickets).  It was a last minute visit for them, only a week and a half notice, but still the place was packed.  And everybody joined in the fun.  We were up on the mezzanine right in front of the stage, and found it provided the perfect balance of privacy and action, and a great view of the band.  We clapped and hooted with the best of them, in between eating our gourmet (though a little more expensive than we're used to) dinner made by a nationally renowned chef.

We went on a walk after the show, enjoying the perfect summer evening of downtown Minneapolis.  All the nightlife was lighting up, and the sky was still light blue.  The huge harvest moon added to the mood.  The ride back was much less crowded.  With windows down and wind in our hair we jammed out to Daniel's other birthday present, the hip-hop sounds of tobymac!

Eddy was happy to see us and tell us all about the fun he had, I was happy for the night to be a success with no major hiccups, and Dan was happy for all we'd done for his birthday, especially for cookies to eat and new music to listen to on his hour drive back to Eau Claire.

Thanks, Danny, for being so great, and letting me show you a good time for your birthday.  I'm so happy to be with you!  Happy birthday!

It's been really hot here lately.  There was even a heat warning out a couple days, and we had to send our employees home mid-route.  Everyone in the town of Afton had to choose whether to roast their skin in humidity or cower in the dark by the air conditioner.  Most people chose the latter.  One such day was Monday.  It was a strange thing for Dan, Eddy and me to spend the whole day in the house together.  Last time that happened we had to break loose and go to the museum (and, as it turned out, the famous MICKEY'S DINER).  This time we went to the beach.

The evening was just starting to cool off when we headed to the nearby town of Lake St. Croix Beach.  This town sits just upstream our beloved Afton, but is much more popular on days like these, because this town has -- as the name implies -- a beach.  And that's about all they have.  There are signs posted on every street that read, "No parking on ANY city street".  And they have only one parking lot: the beach parking lot.  I love small towns.

We parked and walked the gravel road to the shore together.  Eddy's sandals kept falling off, making it a haltingly slow process...until we stuffed them in the diaper bag and held him off the ground by both arms.  Whatever works!  Ah, the sandy goodness!  Shoes were kicked off, the waves were flirted with, and Daniel dove in for a much needed cool down.  There were plenty of people there that day, which made me happy.  I love enjoying the weather with others.  It was quite like a local party, everyone invited, no charge.  Then I noticed something: Eddy wasn't swimming.  He wasn't splashing.  He wasn't even getting his feet wet.  The all too familiar "I don't wanna swim," was all he would say.  This would take some work.

I prodded him from the shore, Dan coaxed from the water, but he would not go in.  Why does he have this propensity to do what will only make him unhappy later?  Finally I bit the bullet.  Though still dressed in my tie-dye skirt and t-shirt, I picked up Eddy and stepped in the water.  "I'll just go up to the knees."  Right.  One thing led to another, and I was as wet as Eddy.  Finally, I couldn't resist the urge of going all in with hippie clothes on.  It just seemed to fit.  So, though I had my swimsuit on underneath, I dove in and swam all the way out, skirt and all =)  I got out, got all sandy and jumped back in.  Why don't more people do this?

Eddy did realize he liked the water.  He walked as far out as he could stand, he and I attacked Daddy with splashes, we even let him dunk a couple times.  It was a blast.

Eventually people began to disappear from the party, the sun went down, and a layer of mosquitoes graced the top of the ripples (haha, as if mosquitoes ever "grace").  We trudged through the sand and over the gravel to the car.  What a successful trip!  Laughter and pleasant talk filled the car all the way home and followed us in the house, just in time to open up the windows for the night.

...there were big green tomatoes weighing down the tomato plants...

...the peppers were just right...

We also apparently had a garden friend.  I found him a new home.

Here we are at home.  It feels like so long since I've been here.  I missed my Danny terribly, and so did Eddy.  Eddy scarcely spoke a word Wednesday that didn't involve seeing Daddy =)  How special it was to walk out of the airport and see Danny's face once again.   Eddy always gets loud when he's excited, so every head on the sidewalk turned when Eddy and Daddy were reunited.

The Van Dyke sibling camping trip ended in a delightfully different dinner at a French Basque restaurant, from which everyone got home late and tired.  Wednesday was spent sleeping in, packing, visiting the Woodfields again, then driving the beautiful road straight westward to the San Francisco International Airport, Nicki at the wheel.  Over each mountain pass the air became 10 degrees cooler and more humid, starting with an arid 90 degrees and ending with a balmy 60 at the bay.  Along the way we saw many orchards, then deserts, then dry mountain peaks, each one capped with scores of very old windmill generators.  Soon there was a train railing along by us with commuters to the city, then the roads became larger and busier until we found ourselves skimming just over the water on a six-lane low bridge.  The bridge was several miles long and rose gradually until we were flying way over the water, with a grand view of Oakland and the cloud that covered up San Fran. On to the airport.

Goodbyes and hugs and into the most beautifully constructed airport I'd ever seen.  Towering high ceilings hosted 3-story windows of the plane yard, giant tile murals, and framed paintings.  3rd floor balconies with seating by the windows also overlooked all the gates, which were nestled in below, on the 2nd floor.

Both in good spirits after a relaxing car ride and good lunch, Eddy and I were easily able to cope with the airport pressures, thanks to the help of the amazingly accommodating airport staff (waiving the baggage fee to check our bags, carrying our carseat on the plane for us, and other kind gestures) With snacks and the ability to give Eddy freedom because of the placement of the gate, both our moods stayed elevated all the way on board.  But nothing kept us from missing "daddy".

There were several upsets on the plane as the night grew later and Eddy grew ornery, but no earaches, and no more than I could handle with grace without dampening my evening in the least.  Then we descended.   Then we landed.  Then we taxied.  Then we parked.  Then everyone stood.  Then the doors opened.  Then we packed our bags and car seat.  Then we filed out.  And we were free!  We were IN Minnesota, our hearts racing to see the one we loved the most.  Through the maze, down to the baggage claim, we searched all over the room...but no Danny.  Where could he be?

A quick phone call and some confused conversation and the mystery was revealed: "He's outside in the car!  Let's go."  Again the momentum rose as we raced down the sidewalk lined 2 and 3 deep with cars loading and unloading until, second row out, behind a group of passengers, we spotted the BioLawn symbol!   "Daddy!"  Eddy jumped in the front seat to see his Daddy while I ran back to get the bags.  With the bags and stroller loaded and Eddy strapped in, I finally got that hug and kiss I was waiting for.  We were finally here again...finally home.

I put Eddy to bed for the third time for his nap.  It was hot and sunny.  I fought discouragement.  My productivity this morning seemed less than satisfactory.  My energy was waning.  I wanted motivation.  I felt like sleeping.  The trees and grass and crickets beckoned me outside and I followed.  I wandered and stomped and sighed.  I searched for passion in my soul again.  I found apathy, weariness, confusion, defeat, then answers.

Of course I know where to find life!  Of course I know all is not lost!  The giver of life calls to the weary, the money-less, the brokenhearted to come and drink from the spring.  I knew to drink from the spring would bring life, but I still felt parched...and in my thirst could not feel the truth I once knew.  So back from my memory I drew.

My Bible lay back in the house.  I hadn't the mind to go the long distance back.  I forced into memory a chapter from my youth -- a wonderful chapter, with many memories attached to it, and many lessons.  Perhaps if I could get through it I would find the strength I needed.

The first few verses slid off my tongue easily, but I stumbled through the next few.  Running back and forth over the following to sort out which came first, I pondered the meaning in the words.  "The law of the spirit of life hath made me free from the law of sin and death..." hmmm... free.  Free to live true life...this life I've experienced a taste of and long for more.  "That the righteousness of the law would be fulfilled in us..." God really does think me special to place such an important purpose on my life.  "but ye are not in the flesh but in the spirit..." "he that raised up Jesus from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his spirit that dwelleth in you..." The spirit is in me.  He is in me.  He guides me.  "we are the children of God, whereby we cry, 'Abba, Father..." Again, how special, how purposeful, how releaving of fear.  "the whole creation groans and travails in pain together..." "all things work together for good, to them that love God..." "for I reckon that the trials of this present age are not worthy to be compared to the glory which shall be revealed in us" Here there is no denying the trouble, no denying the chaotic mess of pain...but again purpose...plan.  "who shall lay anything to the charge of the elect..." God is my judge.  "we are killed all the day long..." "for I am persuaded that neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Mmmmm...the perfect peace in the knowledge of God's unending love...so much depth and importance to unravel...

I stood in that moment less like a failed mother and woman, and more like a born princess.  Not to say I was any more graceful or pretty or rich, but I had a silent power behind me and I knew it.  I had a royal purpose, a noble purpose...to love as Christ loves...to listen to the Spirit.  I was important to the king, and my attitude impacted those around me.  I knew my place in the world.  I could give and serve without fear.

I walked back.  I was met with our secretary out in the grass, holding Eddy and explaining how he said he wouldn't take his nap.  I sighed and took another path than before.  I faced it, took charge, and showed compassion.

Never underestimate the power of truth learned and lived and remembered.

Eddy's phases are really funny.  Right now he's into spitting and jumping.  When we were at the Stillwater Clinic on Thursday waiting for Dan to come out, Eddy decided to "scare" the fish in the tank by spitting at them.  He was sure they "ran away" and everyone in the waiting room laughed.  And when he wants to count something, he's been insisting on jumping up and down for each number.  I think he's just so proud of learning the skill that he has to show it off.

Gramma got to experience all these Eddyisms firsthand as we visited together, and while she graciously babysat him for me.  They went on all sorts of adventures, and Eddy was very excited to get some special presents from gramma, too.  He had a great time, but got completely worn out every day, taking long naps, and sleeping in.  I think that's the way it should be.